The Cat And The Bear
by Anhedonist
Summary: What would you do, if you had no idea what is ahead of you and you didn't know the person who drags you there? Jackson Avery leaves Seattle during an inter-hospital project and finds things he'd never thought of. *** Graphic,rated M for a reason.
1. Encounter

Jackson stepped out of the operating room, wiping sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He just managed to replace a quite big piece of his patient's skin with a new one; the guy was a victim of forced tattooing of a gang stamp, a flying eagle with a swastika.

'Damn it.' Jackson snapped at his own reflection in the glass wall, separating scrub room from the OR. He spent last 5 hours in that place, sweating, tired and annoyed. There were complications, patient went into cardiac arrest, and Jackson wanted very much a bath, a beer and a bed.

He tore off his surgeon's cap and face mask and threw out the latter. His head was pulsating with mild pain, throbbing in his temples. Jackson shook his head slightly, trying to get rid of the pain, but unsuccessfully.

When he emerged from the locker room, freshly clothed and showered, he saw a group of people forming a line to the congratulate him. Jackson frowned. He has completely forgotten about exchange thing.

Owen signed their hospital up for a doctor exchange programme. They were assigned to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital from New Jersey, and the doctor from PPTH already came to have a walk around and get comfortable. He was as tall as Jackson, an Aussie with soft blonde curls and vividly mismatched ties and shirts. Nurses already gave him the nickname 'McRoo' because of his constant jokes about kangaroos hunting. He flashed his very white and very wide smile often and was rumored to already bang Stephanie the intern. And Stacy the nurse. And Lara the counselor.

Jackson loathed his new colleague. Not only he felt threatened, but he also was nonplussed to discover that he actually wanted him to be a bit more ugly. He always battled his problem with looks being the factor that made people judge him, but when this Greek god-quality beau arrived he started prowling around like a mating lion in his cage. Favors of his female coworkers turned to the Australian, leaving him be with April being all 'I don't know what do they see in him!' and secretly practicing her 'Yes, I'll gladly have dinner with you!' speech in front of the locker room mirror.

The worst part was that he, Jackson Avery, was chosen by the PPTH staff to be the one who will fly across the country and join New Jersey's hospital team. It was only for 6 months, but still…He didn't want to leave Seattle, but he knew that he can't give a bad example and he can't refuse to go. He sighed.

'Congrats doctor!'

'Way to go, Jackson!'

'Send us postcards!'

The news of him being the doctor who was to go was posted on the pinning board in the lobby. He was already packed and ready to go, and wanted very much to leave the hospital unnoticed. As if they would let him. Hands patted him on the back and shook his hands, lips kissed his cheeks, eyes winked to him. He was done for the day.

'Okay, people' Jackson gruffly accepted the congratulations. ' Thank you so much, but I really have to go. Thanks again.'

He turned on his heel and walked out of the hospital, sighing deeply. He inhaled the moist evening air and let a cocky smile wander on his lips. At least he would be closer to Baltimore; he always wanted to taste the famous lobster.

* * *

When he arrived at the apartment he rented in Princeton after a shopping spree, he was covered in sweat; it was the middle of June and while in Seattle rain was banging against the roofs and moss was spreading everywhere, Princeton was full of sunshine. So full of it, actually, that he felt like he was walking on a frying pan. He stopped in the front of the main entrance of the condo, sighed and turned around; as much as he tried to have a balanced diet, he now wanted a blue slushie, he wanted it so much that should he be a female, he would suspect a pregnancy.

He walked over to the nearby street vendor and purchased a large cup. He slurped at the cold beverage and grinned. The last time he had one was on his 15th birthday, when he went with his friends to the arcade and felt up Annie Roberts. The sweet coldness slid down his throat and made him feel a bit like a naughty teenager.

'Watch out!'

Jackson took a look over his shoulder only to be knocked down by someone. He was very surprised that who he saw was a young woman; her makeup was a bit smeared and her heels too high for walking up and down the streets. She sported a black, clingy dress with a v-neckline. Her knee was bleeding and her tights had holes in them. All in all, she looked like an escort whose client took a lot of liberty with.

'You alright?' Jackson offered a hand to help her get up, but she gracefully rose from the dusty pavement and pulled her dress down her knees to get at least a bit modest.

'Sorey, Ay tripped.' She spoke with an accent that bothered him; everyone in New Jersey seemed to speak affectionally. ' You droupped ye' drink.' She nodded towards the slushie that now was spilling down the street. She didn't say she was sorry for the fact that he lost his guilty pleasure or offer to buy him a new one. She just announced the obvious.

'Yeah, well, things happen.' Jackson wasn't sure how to respond. The stranger measured him with her eyes and had a questioning look on her feline face. 'I was just walking home.' He waved towards the condo they both stood in front of.

Woman smiled cockily.

'Looks laik weea neeighbohs den.' She produced a small key with a caduceus keychain and smiled at Jackson. 'Cahm on. Let's getcha feel at houm.'

Avery balanced on his heels for a second, unsure what to do. The woman seemed at least a bit weird but on the on the other hand she was the first Pricentonian who actually spoke to him, apart from the airport staff and the cab driver who bored him with a painfully long story about his daughter's junior prom.

'Sure, thanks.' He grabbed his duffel full of newly purchased clothes, more appropriate for the new climate, and followed the long limbed woman through the condo's front door. She dashed to the postboxes, hung on the wall near the entrance and checked quickly for any mail shoe could've received. She frowned in apparent disappointment and wrinkled her nose. She now looked more feline than ever.

Jackson chuckled. Woman turned around and faced him with a bewildered expression.

'Sorry, it's just – you look like a cat when you frown-' he stopped, not positive enough that she won't feel offended. Instead of that, woman laughed and threw her head back, her chocolate hair shiny like a horse mane.

'I heard that before.'

'Really?' Jackson took a hopeful step forward.

'No.' Woman – whom now Avery was more likely to call 'girl' in his head – grinned and walked straight to the wooden door with a brass '10' above the visor. There was something very juvenile of her, she seemed to be at most 30, but at the same time she could've been a minor. She was very fit, very dashing and very seductive.

Girl opened the door, went in, tore the battered heels of her feet and stood aside the door, waving welcomingly at Avery. He grinned and went inside.

Apartment was very classy, full of vases, dimmed lights and soft furnishings. Everything was either wooden or metal, and the color palette varied from moss green to slate grey. Floor was covered in rugs and a big, grey-blue carpet.

Woman pointed to a hanger, so that Jackson would hang somewhere is duffel.

'Wanna drink sometheen?' Avery nodded and the host moved to the counter of her kitchen peninsula. She bent over to pick up what looked like a cheese fork from underneath a bar stool and Jackson had for a mere second pleasure of admiring her legs from the thin ankles to firm thighs. She picked up the lost piece of cutlery and shot him a look that clearly told him one thing; she bent over on purpose. She opened a cabinet and took out two tall glasses, which she than placed on top of the counter. A bottle of grenadine standing next to the knife rack was what she motioned for when Avery took a step forward and grabbed her slim wrist.

'You wanna play doctor, eh?' He asked with a vicious smile.

Woman looked a bit alarmed and lustful at the same time. She raised one leg and rubbed her naked foot against Avery's shin.

'Why do ya theenk soh…' she leaned forward and licked away from his clavicle to ear, purring like a cat she was. Jackson smiled.

'Your keychain.'

Woman stopped all her ministrations and studied Avery's face. Once again he felt very confused by his new acquaintance.

'A caduceus.' She studied him further, so he carried on, blabbering away. 'I know that it's associated with medicine, and you probably knew that while buying it… but it's wrong. I mean, it's Hermes' staff. He was a god of thieves and finance, the deity who took care of physicians was Asclepius. He just had a staff with one serpent.'

Her ice cold stare froze him.

'How do you know that?'

Jackson shrugged.

'I'm a surgeon.' He could've imagined anything but not what happened next.

'Geroff me, geraut of mah apartment.' Woman just took his arms off her back, handed him his own duffel and pushed all the way from the kitchen counter to the door. She slammed the door behind him with an impressive amount of force.

Jackson stood on her doormat for a few second with a hard feeling of inadequacy and bewilderment. Then he just shook his head and fished a key out of his pocket. The door right vis a vis his frenzied neighbor were his.


	2. Purpura

A soft light, filtered by robin's egg blue curtains bathed Jackson's caramel body in radiance. He groaned in his sleep, wriggling against a pillow. He dreamt of swimming in cool blue ocean, as he liked to do when his mom took him to Grandpa's place in Florida. He enjoyed long walks along the beach, collecting shells and feeling the sand underneath his bare feet.

His mobile buzzed as the alarm went off. Jackson opened his eyes and winked a few times to get the sleep off them. He put his both hands on his face and sighed. It was 7:15 and he was supposed to be the third floor of Princeton Plainsboro at 8 sharp.

He got up and noticed his morning wood.

'Not today, buddy.' Avery addressed his Johnson playfully and opened his poorly stashed closet. He had two generic button downs, two pairs of pre-faded denim pants and a lot of t-shirts. He didn't have to wear scrubs all the time in the hospital, since he was going to be a surgical advisor, and that felt at the same time strange and liberating. A baby blue shirt and the denims would have to do for today.

He grabbed a bottle of kiwi smoothie from the fridge and a wholegrain sandwich he bought in the downstairs convenience store. Everything in his apartment's kitchen was pre-packed, pre-cooked or pre-confectioned. So much for the healthy diet he planned to maintain. He munched on his poor breakfast while watching his new neighborhood through the curtained windows. Everything was very vivid and bright; he squinted and dropped the last few bites of his sandwich on the counter.

Under the waterfall shower he tried to pull himself together. First day at new work. New people to impress, new boss to see up to, new women with unrealistic expectations. He squirted some shower gel on his palm and massaged his toned chest; a massive amount of foam rose from between his fingers. He missed the Washington's hard water. His back ached from the mattress he had to sleep on, since the landlord didn't share his fondness of hard bedding. He liked everything hard, strong and firm. Apart from his neighbor; she was too blunt, too bold and too weird for his taste.

* * *

His new workplace welcomed him with rush, loud calls and lots of business, almost palpable in the air. He drew a deep breath and exhaled with joy. This was his element.

A nice looking nurse in blue scrubs walked past him, glancing slightly as he smiled at her. She returned the smile.

'Sorry.' Jackson stopped the nurse and beamed at her. She cocked her head and bit on her pen.

And here we go, Avery thought.

'I need to get to the diagnostics department; can you possibly show me the way?'

'If you want to beg doctor House to examine you or your relative I would suggest sending good bourbon first.' Nurse looked confident and smiled emphatically. 'You can't just get in and request anything, not with him.'

'Um, no' Jackson hid a laughter. 'I'm his new surgical advisor, Dr. Jackson Avery.' He shook nurse's delicate hand.

'Irma Jenkins.' Red, plaited hair shone as she bobbled her head. 'Then let me guide you.'

The walked towards one of the two lifts and waited until it opened with a loud 'ping'. She looked over her shoulder and gestured to the open door welcomingly. Avery made a little bow and move forward, feeling the nurse's gaze lingering around his jeans-clad ass. She went in and turned her back at Jackson, letting him watch her small buttocks bounce as she climbed on her toes to push a button on the elevators control board. He grinned.

The door opened once again and both Irma and Jackson went out, Irma heading towards a glass wall. Behind it there were a few tables, a whiteboard and a small kitchenette.

'This is it. I hope you'll survive long enough to have lunch with me.'

Jackson looked at the nurse with slight confusion and she suppressed a laugh.

'You'll see what I mean. Have a nice day.' Irma walked away giggling brightly, and Jackson was left in front of the glass wall, nonplussed and very messed. He shrugged and pushed the glass door, entering the diagnostics department.

'So'- a voice came from his behind, startling him- 'My newest bauble to the collection of hospibeauties.'

Avery turned on his heel. Behind him stood an older man, probably in his early 50's. Pepper and salt hair color would make him look like a librarian, wasn't it for his cane with flaming design and a t-shirt that said 'Bite me, but dentistry is not my specialty'.

'Sorry – you are?' Avery asked the stranger with as much calmness as he managed to collect.

'Custodian. I am supposed to show around new pretty faces in order to prevent them from sexual assault. Hospital's new policy, tough, blimey, I hate it.' The man smiled brightly at him with vicious expression in his blue eyes and waved his cane, pretending he is a tour guide pointing to the various monuments. 'Ladies' bathroom, Oncology guy's office, my office.' The last phrase was accompanied with a slight push of the glass door with the rubber end of the cane, just around the height of Avery' widened eyes.

'So, ahem… you are doctor House then, right? My name's Jackson Avery, nice to…'

'I know who you are, otherwise I would ask why the hell you think you are authorized to enter that room. Move, we have a diagnosis to make.'

Jackson stood aside and let House get into the office. The older doctor rolled his eyes and went in, whistling 'Waltzing Matilda' and juggling with a juicy Golden Delicious. Avery sat at the table and reached for a patient's file. Woman, early teens, so more a girl than a woman. Pregnant, with symptoms of preeclampsia for the past three weeks – but no actual eclampsia. He furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what could cause all her symptoms; high blood pressure, significant amounts of protein in the urine and edema. It couldn't be just a stupid heartburn. He felt House watching him, trying to catch a glimpse of smartness. Be tried harder.

Suddenly he heard raised voices behind him and turned his face to the glass wall. A flock of lab coated doctors entered the hallway and argued, visibly trying to reach a decision. Jackson followed the small group and saw that they are heading towards the glass room. My newest coworkers, he thought. A small, big nosed guy with balding problem, an African-American know-it-all, as it seemed from the looks of it, and a blonde, petite woman with a ponytail. They all entered the office and stopped their chatter when they noticed him.

'Hello kids. This is your new playmate, treat him well, bullying is left to me.' House bellowed his good morning from the neighboring room.

'Hi, I'm Doctor Allison Cameron.' The blonde beamed at him with a bright, sincere smile. 'Immunology.'

'Eric Foreman.' The boldness of the African-American's voice astounded Jackson. 'Neurology.'

'Hello, my name's Christopher Taub.' The tiny man with ridiculous red tie reached to him and shook his hand. 'Plastics.'

'Plastics, huh? So am I.' Jackson smiled genuinely at the dwarfy doctor and he returned the smile. 'I'm Jackson Avery, plastics surgeon from the Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital in Seattle.'

'We know.' Foreman interrupted him and opened his copy of the patient's file. Avery felt that there is going to be at least lack of friendship between them, if not open hostility.

'So.' Cameron obviously was trying to get the icy atmosphere gone. 'We are still waiting for Thirteen – that is, I mean for doctor Hadley, she is examining Mindy– but right now it seems like our patient is just waiting for the eclampsia. Not much we can do.'

' It's not eclampsia!' House bellowed from his room while surfing porn sites. Jackson chuckled to himself, imagining McDreamy with a porn site open in front of him while discussing a patient. Impossible.

'House, it has to be eclampsia.' Foreman rolled his eyes and took a sip of his Starbucks. 'She is going to get into pre-term labor, nothing we can do at that stage.'

'But let's just say she is not going to. Get me some ideas.' House stood up and entered the room they all sat in.

' Antiphospholipid syndrome.' Taub bit on his pen.

'No headaches, no migraines.'

'Hemolytic-uremic syndrome.' Cameron looked a bit unsure.

'No decreased haptoglobin. Thiiiiiiink,people! Use your brains! In case you forgot it's this greyish jello you have in your skulls.'

'Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura. Explains everything.'

A foreign yet slightly familiar voice came to Avery's ears and he looked up. Someone new entered the room; a tall, thin woman with chocolate brown hair and a feline featured.

His new neighbor.

The woman came to House and gave him a print. He scanned it and nodded.

'Purpura it is.' He left the room without a word and all the doctors sighed. All but Avery and the new woman. Cameron combed her hair with her fingers.

'Hey Thirteen. So, yeah, this is our new fellow, doctor Avery. Doctor Avery, this is doctor Hadley.'

Thirteen squinted and bit but waved her slender hand and smiled at Jackson with a slightly defiant expression. 'Hi.'

'Hi.' Jackson felt his face heat up a bit. This is going to be a long 6 months, he thought.


	3. Closing In

Thirteen felt her stomach constrict. There, right in front of her sat the man she met yesterday in front of her condo. She was coming back home from a party that took the best of her. She drank everclear with a bit of pomegranate juice and had a felt up of two different guys; one blue-eyes ginger who tried to take off her panties and a tawny butch who kissed great but was silent and nonarticulate, almost mute. She left the party at about 8 in the morning, when everybody was still too hungover to see her while sober and actually remember her, and walked straight home.

She strolled down an empty street and tried not to catch anyone's eye. When she was close to the block on which was the building she lived in, she opened her tiny clutch to fish out her keys. The clasp needed a bit of fumbling, so there was no wonder she fussed about it for a good minute – until she felt herself loosing stability and tripping over a stranger.

She fell on her knee and ripped her black tights. She looked up to say something and she saw what she could only describe in one way; a hottie.

The man was well-built, fit, a perfect mixture of races; African-American colouring but with sea foam green eyes of delicate Asian shape, slight stubble that defined his jaw, shaved head and gentle hands. A bear, she thought, a giant bear-man. He could crush her in her strong arms. She took a breath and decided to play it out with a profit.

And nearly managed to do that. They were close; she knew her panties were soaking wet when he placed his hand on the small of her back and she could smell his breath, a mixture of mint chewing gum and fruity slushie. She suppressed a moan and let him nuzzle her neck until he brought up her keychain.

The discovery that the stranger is a doctor shocked her. She deliberately showed him the keys to ensure he was someone else, as she did with every other man she tried to jump. He didn't notice it in the first place, at least it didn't interest him enough to discuss it. She would bet he was an athlete, a golfer or something. But a plastics surgeon?

She threw him out of the apartment and closed the door. She leaned against it and put her tiny hands in her hair, combing through it as tears fell down her face. She sat on her own doormat for a few minutes, stood up, took off her dress, smelling of cigarettes and perfume, and threw it on the floor near the kitchen peninsula.

Her mobile was still in her clutch; she took it out and opened her contact list. A few clicks later she dialed a number.

'Hi.'

'Hi. Um, wanna come?' Thirteen bit her lower lip and combed her hair once again.

'Sure, will be there in five.' The man hung up and Thirteen stood at the kitchen window for a while, listening to the signal in the speaker. Then he shrugged her arms, left the mobile on the windowsill and took a sip of the water she poured from the tap. It was nasty but she was dehydrated enough to drink it anyway.

The doorbell rang after a few minutes of drinking. She walked up to the door and opened it, putting on a seductive expression. In front of her stood a tall, black haired dude with goofy smile. She gestured him inside and he went in. Thirteen closed the door and felt his hands on her boobs. She closed her eyes and let him feel her up; he took a liberty of sliding the bra straps off her arms and biting on her shoulders. She bobbed her head as he shook her a bit in order to get some reaction from her. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his thin mouth. He bit her lip and let her go, satisfied. She felt him grabbing her around the waist and she hopped up so that he could lift her. He grabbed her little ass and moved towards the bedroom. They fell on her circular bed, she completely inactive and distracted, he busy with taking her panties off. She let him do so, lifting her legs to help him. He grabbed her hips and moved her closer. His cock was swollen and clearly visible in his grey sweats. He took it out, not caring enough to strip, and forced himself into her.

Thirteen lied there, half numb, looking at the ceiling. She shifted uncomfortably as he thrusted into her, one pang of discomfort after another until she tried to work herself up a bit. Nothing helped. The man clearly enjoyed himself; he licked her sensitive chest and was taking very shallow breaths of someone who runs a marathon. Thirteen tried to move her body so that he wouldn't have any idea about how she felt. He welcomed that effort and yelped when she flexed her Kegels to quicken his orgasm. She felt him getting over his edge and tremble, and he exploded with a loud moan. She closed her eyes and grabbed his soft locks. She didn't feel a single twitch of pleasure. She just wanted to die. She wanted to disappear.

But at the same time she wanted to feel vividly alive, with a warm body next to her and a loud breath caressing her neck. Both of that things repelled her and drew her closer at the same time in some miraculous, paradoxical way. She felt vulnerable for being fondled and powerful because she was able to attract him. It imploded and made her feel like a puppet she controlled from high heavens.

Man's breath calmed down and he raised his head to look at Thirteen. He grinned slightly and bit her playfully on the earlobe. She forced a smile and sat up, pushing him aside and scratching his back a bit.

-Dinner? – She tried to sound as casual as possible.

Man nodded and curled on her unmade bed, dozing off. Remy bit her lower lip, threw her head back and closed her eyes to keep focus on her thoughts. Dinner. Dinner means a meal people share. She had some frozen casserole and a blackberry pudding for second course. That should do. There was vodka in the kitchen cabinet and clean glasses in the cupboard, so there was no need to figure out a dessert.

She jumped off her bed and put on a lonely t-shirt she picked up from the floor. It was long enough to cover her buttocks, so she didn't bother to look for her underwear. Her feet marked the thick carpet as she made her way to the kitchen. The slammed door muffled her little sobs. She swallowed a gulp that formed in her throat and sniffed. You are a doctor, for God's sake. It's all mechanical, your body needs it, she ensured herself. Shut up already. Shut up,Remy! Just shut up and focus.

It didn't help. She climbed on the counter top, sat on it and cried quietly, wiping her face once in a while with a lacy black bra. She needed to be taken care of. She didn't like that thought. She loathed herself for the mere admitting of that fact.

But that was it.


	4. Talk To Me

Thirteen walked into an empty room. She escaped from the differential diagnostics room right after she bid her welcome to the newest addition to House's collection of weirdos and tried to get some space and time just for her.

She pulled a wobbly white chair from the wall adjacent to the door and sat on it. Her brow was furrowed. She never had to deal with a situation like this. There were guys showing up after an one-night stand which she shooed away, there were people who she met on some other parties and the laughed about the situation, making silly references and allusions for fun. She even handled the situation with her lover showing up at the hospital as a patient. But she never tried to jump somebody she was supposed to work with. She didn't know what on earth should she do, or how to handle it. She felt differently. Normally she would just literally wash him off her in the shower and forget. At least until it would resurface as a funny story on some party. And eventually lead to another session of making out and fumbling with zippers, buttons and clasps.

Lovers were lovers; people she fucked, then just said something like 'That was a mistake' or 'Don't tell anyone' and ridicule the situation. That was what she knew, that was what she did. A definitely didn't see any other way of handling things. There was a never a chance to do anything else.

Why,Remy. Why him?

She kept asking herself questions she didn't want to find an answer for. She shook her head and closed her eyes to focus on what was happening here and now. Her breath deepened and slowed down. She heard all the little footsteps and chatter just outside the room. Patients were wandering through the corridors, nurses pushed the crash carts and yelled to each other for help, doctors shuffled papers they were handling. She managed to concentrate on one pair of feet which clearly headed towards the room she was in. Someone was strolling easily down the hallway. Somebody was trying to find a quiet place to work in. Go away, she prayed. Go away. Or better, come in and talk to me. Talk to me and tell me something constructive.

Door made an ear-drilling sound as Jackson Avery opened it with his arm, balancing a few patient charts, a pager, daily planner and a cup of coffee with both his hands, forming a wobbly pyramid. He went in and tried to close the door with his foot. He grinned goofily when he succeeded and turned on his heel to notice Remy, watching him calmly.

'Oops. Okay, well, I'll just go-.' He looked definitely startled and ready to surrender. Remy liked that look in people. It told her that she won, she dominated someone. But in him… it was just uncomfortable. She felt uneasy with that. She felt bad with causing him to look like this, she felt guilty. And guilt was what Remy Beuregarde Hadley loathed.

-No, it's fine. Stay. I mean, if you want. – Thirteen studied his face expression, clearly a bit confused and full of precaution. He hesitated for a split second and then just moved towards another chair and sat on it. He placed his coffee on the armrest of the next one and opened a chart, massaging his temple with two fingers.

Remy sat in silence, her eyes trailing his figure. He looked absolutely occupied and focused on the chart he was going through, occasionally squinting or wrinkling his nose. His sea foam eyes moved quickly side to side of the sheet he was studying. A large vein on his neck, juts under his ear pulsed rhythmically. He bit on his lip absentmindedly when he found something unusual in the text that caught his attention. He rubbed his thumb against the pointer and cocked his head to analyse something.

'Sorry, um, dr. Hadley?'

Remy jerked in her chair. She realized that for the past ten to fifteen minutes she observed Avery, who now gave her a polite look of question. She combed her hair with her fingers and put a few loose strands behind her ear to buy some time.

'You are staring, dr. Hadley.'

Damn it.

'No, it's just… I must have dozed off or something. Sorry about that.' – She produced her best comforting smile, but felt like she was having a stroke. She stood up and headed towards the door, but when she was just grabbing the door handle she stopped at her tracks. She shook her head and turned her head to face Jackson.

'Don't you have anything to say? Anything at all?'

Jackson looked a bit unfocused.

'Like what?' He asked with sincere interest.

Thirteen felt a bit angry. Guys she felt up were angry at her, tried to pursue further, tracked her down, told her stories about what would they do to her if they could. He didn't. He just sat there. He worked for God's sake, he was able to work in front of her and focus on what he was doing!

'Like for example what do you think about what happened in the condo?

Avery shot her a tired yet polite look and closed the chart he was going through carefully. He placed it on his knees. His eyes met hers and the he hung his head, addressing his lap.

'Look. You obviously don't want people you work with to know. You don't want to talk to me either. I didn't want to bother you so that's why I wanted to leave when I entered.' He spoke calmly but firmly. 'You clearly had a reason to shoo me out of your apartment even though you intended to have sex with me at the first place. I won't try to make you talk about it, it's none of my business until you decide that it is. When it comes to me, we are strangers, you are just my coworker. I won't tell anyone about what happened, and you will do whatever you want. I have no right to try to force you to be silent. If you want to talk, talk with me. If you don't, I'm fine with it.'

He finished his monologue with a little sigh and looked her in the eye.

Thirteen was burning white with emotions. She was angry with him for letting her go, adored his politeness, envied his calmness. She wanted to talk, she wanted to very very badly. But she also feared letting her guard down. He couldn't know. He didn't need to. He shouldn't. She felt challenged, as if he wanted her to express her interest. At the same time she felt it was a bad idea. So bad she didn't even want to think about it. She weighed her options for a second and decided to do what she always did; flee and try to look casual.

'Fine.'

She turned her back towards Jackson and left the room. Jackson stared at the closed door for a few minutes and went back to his charts, tired and confused.


	5. Questioning

Jackson left the hospital at about 9 PM. He was tired to the point of tottering rather than walking. A flock of nurses passed him, loudly giggling, but he didn't even notice them. He was focused on reaching his own apartment. He managed to get into his car and switch on the radio. Car accidents, Guinness World Records, something about a surfing koala. He chuckled, reminded about McRoo . He put on his fave CD and turned the engine on. Car purred under the bonnet.

He drove through the city. Air was stuffy, it would rain shortly, he thought. He let his thoughts wander around, not focusing on anything in particular. Taub and Foreman had a row today and were patronized by House in front of the almost entirety of the staff; he ordered them to collect data about all patients that contracted measles when they were kids. That took almost entire day of sneaking and being made fun of.

When he finally reached his condo he parked his car in front of it, turned off the engine and sat inside for a while, almost dozing off. A wild cat woke him, running over the roof of his car and hissing loudly. He laughed. Jackson stepped out of his car and juggled keys in his labored hand. The front door was open, so checked quickly the postbox and then just opened the door to his apartment, only to find a small envelope, lying on the doormat. Somebody must have slid it underneath his door.

He picked up the white rectangle and examined it. No description, no address, no stamp. He furrowed his brow. What could've that been? He opened it. There was a single business card that said 'Remy Hadley, M.D.'. He turned it over in confusion and found words written by female hand:

'Knock on my door when you are back.'

He stood in the doorway, unsure what to do. After a while of deliberation he shrugged, threw his stuff on the nearby sofa, turned around and knocked on Remy's door. What evil could bring checking what his weird neighbor wanted from him?

'Coming!' Thirteen called loudly but a bit unclearly. He heard her running through the carpeted floor and stopping in front of the door, just about 20 centimeters from him, to unlock both locks. When she opened the door, he smiled; she was brushing her teeth, biting on the toothbrush so that it would not fall out of her mouth. A bit of the toothpaste was running down her pointy chin.

'Oh.' She produced a slightly surprised expression, but quickly smiled in spite of the toothbrush. She gestured towards him and then waved her small hand. 'I'll be right there, just lemme spit.'

She turned on her heel and dashed back into her apartment to get into the bathroom. Jackson decided that he will not ask any questions, as the number of those that arose in his mind was too big to even decide what to start with. He waited politely until she reemerged with a tin of cookies and a red wine. 'Peace gifts' she exclaimed upon seeing his questioning look. 'Shall we?'

He was unable to tell how on earth did his neighbor invite him to his own flat, but he reluctantly followed her into it. She closed the door behind them carefully and leaned against it, looking down her long legs.

'I wanted to get to know you.'

Avery crossed his arms in front of him. There she was, a woman he met on the very first day of his new works, a woman who tried to have sex with him, who threw him out of apartment and was very aloof and full of secrets. 'Get to know me.' He began calmly, looking at her with a polite caution. 'Okay, what do you wanna know about me?'

'Do you prefer eating cookies on cushions or on a sofa?' Remy answered immediately.

He gave her a look. She was serious.

'Cushions it is.'

They sat on his floor cushions, as big as a 5 year old toddler, soft and deeply red. She bounced on her for a second and poked it with her long fingernail. Then she reached for the tin, opened it and handed to him. Smell was unbearable; cinnamon cookies made the whole room smell like bakery. He took one cookie and bit on it. It was delicious.

'I'll go get some glasses.' He rose from his cushion and brought to tall glasses, definitely not the wine type. Remy didn't mind; she poured the red liquid into them with precision and offered him one. They clinked the glasses.

'Ask me.' Thirteen piped up after a while of munching on a cinnamon cracker. 'Ask away.'

'I thought you were the one who wants to get to know me.'

Remy looked at him impatiently. 'Look, I'm a bit of a socially disoriented person. If I want to know something you I need you to know something about me. I'm not comfortable with asking alone.'

'Okay.' Jackson studied her face for a while. 'What is your favorite color?'

Thirteen looked at Jackson with a raised brow. 'Green. Dark, forest green. The green of the Christmas tree. Why plastics?'

Avery chuckled. 'An attending I befriended was a plastic surgeon. He showed me how I can make people's life better by simply adjusting their looks… or how I can save their lives by forming structures their bodies failed to form. Do you like dogs?'

Remy laughed. 'Not really. I prefer cats. Dogs are such easy-goers… What is your favorite animal?' She licked the sugar off her fingers, careful not to make a mess.

'Cats. I'm not being cheap!' he blurted after seeing Remy giggle at his answer. 'Really. My mother had a tabby which I loved like a baby brother. Do you have any siblings?' Thirteen shifted uncomfortably.

'A brother and a sister. I don't have much of a contact with them. You?' She sipped a bit of her wine, trying to cover some indescribable emotion that flooded her face. A big bowl of secrets, he thought.

'I have a few siblings. Though it's not like I loathe them I don't really enjoy their company.' Remy nodded. 'What is between you and Foreman?'

Thirteen's eyes widened. 'Who told you? House?'

'No.' Jackson bit on another cookie. 'I just saw him looking at you when you brought up the right diagnosis the other day. He was both jealous and hurt.'

Thirteen thought for a while. The glass clicked against her front teeth as she toyed with it.

'We were together. We are not anymore and we are not going to be.' She looked him in the eye and he nodded, since she clearly needed some kind of reaction. A cold veil of her anxiety fell between them.

'Are you hiding any more questions?' Jackson asked her to break the silence. She pondered on that for a while and started playing with her hair.

'Are you anxious?'

She raised her head and stared at him for a while. 'I'm no psychologist' Jackson began with a cautious smile. 'But when you are trying to think about something difficult or when something bothers you, you pull on your hair, curl it and … yeah, just asking'

'Yes.' Thirteen interrupted him. 'Yes I am, and I will ask you a very weird question.

'Shoot.' Avery took a sip of her wine, gulped it down and focused on her heart-shaped face.

'Can I sleep in here?'

Jackson stayed calm. He looked her in the eye and saw there something he couldn't describe. 'Just sleep. Like, on your couch or on the floor. Or something.' She was begging him now. 'No touching, no nothing, just… sleeping.'

He kept being silent so that she would try and let her emotions go. She shook her head and tried to rise. 'It was stupid, I'm sorry.'

'No-'Jackson also rose and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked as if she would try to shrug it off, but she didn't. 'Stay. You can sleep in my bed if you want to, and I will be comfortable on the sofa. Really. 'He added the last word when she looked a bit unsure whether he is just polite.

'I'm scared of being alone.' She admitted finally and smiled crookedly. 'I'll… I'll just go and get myself a pair or sweats or something.'

'Sure.' Jackson couldn't tell why he agreed to something like that. She didn't make a pristine first impression. She was sulky, a bit bad tempered, sneaky and certainly had a lot of angst in her. But she also seemed to be someone who needed a lot of attention. He just felt its right to let her stay.

She sashayed towards the door and closed it quietly behind her. Jackson smiled to himself and went to the closet to get the guest linens.

Except of the fact that there were none. He didn't even get a decent towel yet, and that was a problem. He stood in front of the opened cupboard, his eyes going over and over the empty hangers and a poor collection of clothing, and sighed.

'Something wrong?'

He turned to see Remy, changed into grey sweat pants and a black tank top. Her hair was loose, a bit curled because of the band that tied it in a ponytail before, and she washed off any makeup she had on during the day. She looked vulnerable. The moonlight that shone through two big windows covered her in eerie whiteness. She resembled a pixie, some mythical creature which will disappear when he'd come closer or dare to touch her.

'I have no guest linens. Um, I didn't have time to get any…'He scratched his shaved head in embarrassment. Remy nodded, looking at her painted toes.

'It's okay, I'll just…' Thirteen gestured towards the door and started to move backwards.

'No, stay-'Avery interrupted her and she looked a bit alarmed. 'I mean, you can sleep in mine. They're freshly laundered. And I'm fine in my sweats.'

She looked at him for a split second before asking 'You sure?' She had so much emotion in her eyes that she looked like she would fell apart any second now.

'Surest.' He smiled at her and she beamed. She looked very relieved and tiniest bit more relaxed.

He guided her towards his bedroom and put his hands in his pockets. 'So, that's it. I will now get in the shower. Good night then.' She stood in front of the bed for a second and bit on her lip. 'Yeah.' She said finally. 'Yeah, go. Good night.' She smiled half-heartedly. He made a little waving motion, unsure about how should he greet her, but when she did the same he grinned and left the room.

He stepped into the shower and suddenly felt how tired he is. His muscled ached and temple was throbbing uncomfortably. She turned on the hot water and let it run down his chest. He submerged himself in thoughts about that big ball of mystery that now rested in his bed. If that's even possible, she seemed more different from any other person he ever met than before.

When Jackson left his bathroom, he was a bit hazy from the hot water he showered in, and the rain was banging against the roof, welcoming him with a familiar melody of water droplets running down the glass windows. Air smelled like home. He opened two windows to let in some of the cool moisture and felt his face being washed with the cold air. He smiled to his thoughts.

That smile faded when he recognized in all of the battering tiny sobs that Remy let out in the neighboring room.


	6. Sounds Of Absence

When the morning sun hit his eyes, Jackson woke up with a jolt, blinking wildly. His back ached because of the uncomfortable position he slept in for the entire night. He stared at the ceiling and sighed. The room was filled with distinct combination of smells; cologne, lime shower gel, female perfume and freshly made breakfast.

Life in the hospital was very peaceful in the past few weeks. Thirteen never showed up at work after the sleepover, leaving him with an unmade bed and a platter of fried eggs with link sausages and a card saying "Don't mention this at work, xoxo 13 " laid on top of the bowl that protected the food from getting cold. He ate the breakfast she left and pretended like nothing happened. His co-workers frequently shot him questioning glances but he never bothered to comment on Thirteen's absence. Wondrously, House made snarky comments about Foreman's disturbance caused by his ex-girlfriend being absent, but spared Jackson. Once in a while he smiled in a 'know-it-all' way but wouldn't say anything. Jackson welcomed that with much relief. He was not sure, what actually happened and what did that mean.

Work was done, patients were cured and treated, apart from leaving the Thirteen's topic be House was mocking him mercilessly about his daily mishaps and mistakes and Avery bonded with his team. Taub's baby daughters were cute little critters and Jackson started having their bonding times at Taub's, sipping beer, having a laugh while Sophie and Sofia threw blocks at each other and talking about work. He dearly cherished the girls and has a blast watching them grow and have their little rows about dolls. They were really entertaining and made him tingle in places he never knew he had. He clearly had a thing for babies and Taub has given him that; he was able to calm them, change nappies when his colleague was busy feeding the other toddler.

Cameron turned out to be a simple, polite woman who was easy to manipulate and a clear do-gooder. Jackson never had a problem asking her to do his work for him, and she never said no. He felt pity for her; she was so terrifyingly easy to compel that he didn't have much respect for her. She was absolutely unable to reject his offer or stand up to him. She reminded him of Stephanie, who only once managed to do something without his clear approval.

Foreman stayed his usual self, hating Jackson for the never mentioned connection he had with his ex-girlfriend. House must have noticed that – but to Jackson's relief he decided to leave that for future reference, in case Thirteen decided to come back to work. She called in sick and after that she filed in an ask for a leave, which Cuddy granted to her. Nobody knew about her whereabouts. Foreman tried to track her down and even was met once by Jackson, who found him outside of his condo, waiting for Remy to appear.

Jackson decided to get out of bed and go for a jog. He let himself have a nice stretch so that his bones cracked. He shook his head to chase the remnants of the dream away and blinked. He still wasn't used to the Princeton's vivid colors and bright light. Air was too dry for his liking and he had somewhat trouble-filled way back to his fitness routine.

A sudden noise caught his attention. He was just bending over to pick up a pair of navy socks, when a slight bang of the door, far away from him, echoed in his apartment. He walked to his door, scanning the room for any disturbances. Each window glass was intact; nothing fell off its shelf. It must have been something in the corridor of the condo. There was no mistake; it was definitely a door being closed very brutally.

He opened the door of his flat and with much surprise he saw that the door vis a vis his – Thirteen's door – were open wide. He stopped in his tracks feeling slightly alarmed. The inside of her apartment was rather dark and reddishly lit. A single lamp with a red scarf thrown over it gave a soft, eerie gave the flat a dangerous look. The hot bulb burned the fabric, making it run thinner and thinner. scrunching as it shriveled. The smell it gave was disturbing.

'Hello?' Jackson called, knowing already that his neighbor was not a person who appreciates being intruded. He reached towards the door handle and stopped in his tracks. Remy wouldn't like me to enter, he thought. Something bothered him though. Something was wrong. She'd never leave the door open wide. That was not very 'her'. She was definitely too secretive for such a careless behavior.

He entered her place and looked around. Apartment looked rather creepily; a pile of freshly laundered clothes lied on a chair, a few empty juice and liquor bottles were standing like toy soldiers in front of the bathroom door, cables were coiled and knotted, covering the entire floor. Everything smelled of sweaty, tired people. Kitchen cabinets were opened and almost empty. A single banana peel was left on the kitchen counter.

He picked up a handbag which he accidentally tripped on. A bloody bandage fell out of it, rolling out so that it made a horrific trail across the dusty carpet.

'Jesus, Remy' escaped Avery's mouth before he could stop himself.

He looked up with a lost expression on his face. He was dumbstruck, without any idea what to do. Jackson knew that Remy didn't appreciate anyone being too much interested about her personal life. He didn't want to disturb her and cause her further closing in, shunning her into hiding. But he had to do something; his morals were way too defined to leave he be.

He dropped the purse and decided to go on with his search. Next to the kitchen peninsula there were two doors; one presumably led to her bedroom, the second one was the bathroom. He balanced on his heels for a second unsure what to do.

He was just deciding whether to reach for the bedroom door when it flunked open, almost ripped off the hinges by Thirteen and some tall, pale stranger. She was stark naked, covered in scratches and bruises. He was walking backwards, his shirt torn to strips with Remy's skilled fingers. She dragged it off his shoulders, revealing dark red stripes running down the man's back onto his buttocks. She stopped her ministrations for a second and slapped the man across the face.

Avery, frozen on his spot with utter suprisement, followed the fluid motion of her hand with his wide opened eyes. He expected the guy to ask what the hell is wrong or something like that, but to his bewilderment, he just grabbed her and threw on the carpet, with no visible defiance from her. She gave out a little sigh as the floor hit her back. He pinned her forearms to the floor, and she formed a perfect arch, giving out little angry sounds. She rolled them both over, pinning him down and yanked his hair, making him let out a small cry of pain. Remy glared at the man with fury and rested her both hand on his throat, pushing his larynx in. He tried to gulp and wiggled, but didn't release her grip until he started to throw his body around to free himself.

Jackson found himself grabbing her under her armpits and pulling away from the pale man. She gasped in surprise which gave him a second of predominance. He managed to pull her up and throw aside, so that she fell on the cushions of her sofa.

The stranger stood up, defeated and confused. He was rubbing his bruised throat and staring at Jackson with much fear.

'Get out.' Avery commanded confidently but calmly. The man nodded without much ado and shot Remy an empty look. She curled up on the sofa and blinked repeatedly, staring at the wall. The man gathered his clothes and the remnants of his shirt from the floor and chair and left, half naked and still defiant.

Jackson turned on his heel to face Thirteen. She refused to look at him, still looking at the wall. Tears were running down her face, glistening in the reddish light. The scarf was now burnt through and gave a sickening smell of scorched fabric. Both Remy and Avery were motionless, he watching her cry silently, she forcibly trying not to show that she is upset, despite her wet cheeks and lashes forming shadows on her face. There was a mutual understanding between them. Neither wanted to comment on what just happened and neither wanted the other to speak.

Jackson moved towards the couch and Remy curled even tighter as if she was trying to shield herself. He raised his hand in a yielding manner. She followed his motion with her empty gaze and relaxed a bit. Avery sat on the sofa, quite away from her, intending to give her as much closeness as she was able to bear. She nodded in answer to a never asked question. He moved closer, brushing her arm with his. They sat in that manner until she fell asleep, cuddling absent mindedly against his chest and finally laying on his lap, while he watched the sky grow light blue from the velvety darkness.


	7. The Place

Jackson yawned. He and Thirteen were sitting on her couch for the past – ten, twelve? Avery could only guess – hours, watching the sun rise and fall. She was half asleep, half awake, waking out of her stupor every few minutes, blinking wildly. She wouldn't move, and so wouldn't Jackson. He had trouble breathing, since he was so frightened that he could accidentally scare her off himself that he breathed with his diaphragm. He felt uneasy, very tired and his stomach rumbled once in a while. But he wouldn't dare to break the silence that fell upon them like a film of dust. Minutes seemed to grow into days, seconds into eons. World went on in its own pace, but they stayed in their little calm space, like two Siamese fighting fish in a bowl. Their brilliant colors of strawberry red and moonlight blue and large, flowing fins were a beauty, but their characters were too dramatic for them to be kept together in one bowl. They would fight to death. Two will fight each other to the death while the third will wait its turn to fight the exhausted victor. Avery sighed. He did not know who the third fish was.

Thirteen moved. Her right hand brushed Jackson's thigh and twitched. He watched her wake up once more, but this time she sat up, combing her hair with her left hand. She slept on sit, so it was red and a bit lazy. Her naked body glistened with sweat, and there was nothing sexual about it. Her curves were still gaze worthy and beautiful, but it felt very wrong to appreciate her beauty now. Avery felt like a parent, trying to comfort a sick child. The only thing Remy was wearing was a pair of black peep-toes, which left ugly marks of her couch. She looked at him, her eyes empty and cold like glass orbs.

Jackson lifted her from the sofa and she automatically grabbed his neck. He walked across her living room and left her place, entering immediately his. He did not want anybody to see her.

* * *

A few more hours later, when he managed to bathe Remy, feed her and tuck into warm bed, he sat down on his own armchair, exhausted like he was after a 24 hour shift. She never gave him any impression of giving him attitude or being defiant; instead she acted like a broken doll, silent and complying. She didn't protest when he sponged her bare back or brushed her wet hair. She gulped down hot tea.

He was genuinely scared. Jackson Avery did not know what to do or where to turn to. He had basic knowledge of what he should do, but nothing he was taught seemed to be best option now. Not with Remy Hadley. She would never agree to see a psychologist, and definitely not a psychiatrist.

Jackson looked at his wristwatch. 3:40 AM. Fortunately he was free tomorrow, should he be not he would call in sick. He was dead tired and wished for a few hours of sleep, genuine sleep instead of a session of drowsy vigil on Thirteen's couch. He stood up and fished a sweatshirt out of a pile of clean laundry, laid on the coffee table. Cleanliness and being in order were not his strongest traits since he came to New Jersey. He pulled the garment on and curled up. His mind was boggling and his thoughts boiled his skull from the inside. Slowly he managed to fall into disturbed sleep.

He woke up a few times during the night. He felt like a beast was roaming his insides, roaring and clawing her way out. Something was wrong. He eyed the door behind which Remy slept. Suddenly a jolt of possessiveness hit him like a rock. He wouldn't let her go.

'I won't let her go.' Avery said that out loud to make sure he thought was he thought. He bit his lip with fury.

* * *

It took until noon for Remy to wake up. She sat on Jackson's bed, completely lucid and aware. His room was in a state of pure Martha Stewart's nightmare; dirty clothing covered every possible space and various glasses and cups made a tower on his nightstand. She smiled to it; it felt like waking up in male dorm of her med school after a wild party. She would usually wake up in the room which everybody used to fuck in, so a plethora of garments covered not only the floor, but also her and a few shirts or skirts would adorn the lawn just outside the window of the room.

A slight mist of remembrance flew through Remy's mind but she chased it away, furrowing her brow. She did not wish to discuss the events of previous night, not even with herself. She wanted to focus on something very material.

She fingered the fabric of what she slept in. Apparently Jackson dressed her in one of the longsleeves he normally wore underneath his scrubs during colder days. It was deep navy, very lush and very pricey – feeling. She also wore a pair of black boxers, which had a red J.A. embroidered on them by a caring hand. 'Mother or sister?' Thirteen smirked, amused by her own joke. The embroidery felt under her fingers like a little scar. 'So, the bear has scars' she thought. Jackson always seemed to be a human – ursidae hybrid. Stocky legs, long snout, shaggy hair. A perfect brown bear.

She decided to get out of the bedroom. She threw off a thick comforter and slid of the bed, catching the fibers of the carpet with her toes as she walked to the door. She shivered as she placed her hand on the doorknob. 'Don't be silly', she scolded herself, 'you have to do that either way. At some point'.

Jackson was steady sleeping, curled on his armchair. Remy watched him for a few moments, unsure whether to wake him or not. Before she could decide, Avery coughed in his sleep and woke up with a jolt. Their eyes met for a moment and then she looked on her bare feet. An electric veil of tension fell between them. 'Now or never' she thought. 'Say it now or leave.'

'Now or never.' Jackson told himself firmly. 'Tell her.'

It was Thirteen who spoke first.

'Look.' Remy combed her hair with her fingers, staring anxiously at her peep-toe heels, laid forgotten near the door. 'I like you. You are friendly, dedicated, honest, and good natured. You are also very good looking. But I have no feelings for you right now.' The hidden question about his state of mind was clear. The hours they spent together, him fully clothed and her stark naked left them at a weird point, in which nothing was certain.

Jackson fixed his eyes on Thirteen's hovering chest. She was breathing very deeply. He sighed. He could feel her eyes roaming his body. The unsaid words she concealed with good manners and politeness jingled in his ears. He looked her in the eye and hid his face in his hands. His whole body was trembling.

'Sorry, it's just… you are my co-worker. We shan't.' He moved from the armchair so that he could see her to the door, but he stopped him with a gesture of her slender hand.

'Wait.'

He furrowed his eyebrows. She looked him right in the eye, her complexion almost translucent in the daylight. She stood on her spot for more than ten minutes, breathing deeply like a scuba diver before his jump. Jackson gave her time, staring at her.

'I know myself. If we will have sex now, I will grow on you. I will get feelings for you. Jackson – 'She used his name, which meant she was dead serious. 'Jackson, if you have no feelings for me whatsoever, or you know you'll never have them, I'm leaving now. If you do … then stop me.'

Remy shot Avery a deep look right in the eye, shifted uncomfortably, balancing on the balls of her feet and took a step towards the door of his apartment. He stood in front of his armchair, hands in his pockets, eyes fixed on the spot where Thirteen stood mere seconds ago. She moved slowly but confidently, grabbing the door handle. Her hand trembled as she said a quiet prayer to herself. She wished Jackson to put a calm hand on her shoulder, to stop her from leaving. She wanted him to confirm that she was still sane, that the Huntington's didn't take the best of her.

* * *

Jackson was gazing upon the space in which Thirteen spent last ten minutes, leaned against his wall, talking to him. His desire for her was washing him over and over. The woman he stopped from having a hate fuck, a doctor from his hospital who mesmerized him with her aloofness and mystery. He had no name for the feelings he had, he was not even sure whether these were for her or for the situation. He was lost in the land of his own head.

'If you do … then stop me.'

These words rattled inside his head while she walked beside him and tried to open the door. As he saw her tiny hand tug on the door handle the truth shone bright in his head.

You are a bloody bastard. You have no feelings whatsoever. You want to undress her, you want her for yourself.

His body reacted in its own, without a single doubt.

Jackson grabbed Remy's waist and sniffed her long hair. He felt her spine underneath a navy longleeved shirt, flexing as she squirmed under his touch. They were there. They were at the point where everything would either fall or rise.


	8. Something

When Remy Hadley woke up the following day, sun was shining bright over the roofs of Princeton. The air smelled of sand and dust and the streets were emitting an enormous amount of slick dry heat. She saw the lone tree outside the Jacksons bedroom window, moving slightly in the wind, its leaves richly green and healthy.

Jackson Avery snored quietly. His arched back moved steadily up and down, making his caramel skin glow in the daylight and then get darker when it was back in the shadows. Thirteen was reclined on a rolled comforter, watching Jackson's chest hover. A dark trail of curly hair went down his toned stomach, pointing to the place where Remy cuddled last night, exhausted and wet with her own sweat. She bit on her fingernail. Avery was fast asleep, breathing deeply, unaware of her battle with her own thoughts.

Is that what love is?

She barely knew him. She could describe the way in which he smiled, the faces he made when he was anxious or amused, the little scar he had on his right forearm. But it was not like she could provide a home for him. A sweet, cake-smelling place, full of kids and a fluffy dog called Buster.

But even though, when he grasped her in a tight embrace she felt like the ceiling was falling on her. She could swear she could do that, be his love, and do much more.

'It's just hormones' Remy said quietly but firmly. Then she shook her head. She couldn't convince herself, so there was no point in trying to convince him. She could swear something has changed. Something very distant yet very close to her. Some lone block in the wall of her life turned around, sticking out of the perfectly glabrous and smooth surface, bothering her wildly.

Something was coming.

Avery groaned and moved. His arm brushed Remy's chest, making her smile widely, almost pushing her to let out a giggle. Remy Hadley giggling – that was something new. She suppressed a laugh of happiness and nuzzled her cheek against Jackson's forearm. 'Let yourself be happy, you useless idiot' she thought, 'shut up and be happy. Don't analyse, don't make it harder.' She felt the last of her restraints breaking, her lips stretching in a grin and cheeks glowing with pink hues of blush. The steel ropes of her common sense slipped out of her hand, replaced with a giant balloon full of helium, and it made her fly high in the blue heavens.

She was in love and there was not a single thing she could say or do to convince herself she was not. Smiling like she was on acid, Remy curled up, facing Avery's forehead, closed her eyes and fell to peaceful sleep.

* * *

Jackson wriggled uncomfortably. His right arm was starting to go numb, and it bothered him enough to wake him. What he saw made his hair stand and flesh creep.

Thirteen was asleep, nuzzling her blushed cheek against his arm. She must have cuddled next to him and grasped his hand in her sleep. It was nothing uncommon for two people sleeping in one bed, but it made him shiver.

He delicately removed his limb from Remy's embrace and sat up.

He fucked up in more than a thousand ways. He felt like an asshole he always suspected he was. Events of the previous evening made him bury his face in his hands and shook his head like a maniac.

He pushed Remy against his door, tore her clothing off and they fucked like the world was going to end.

No. It was even worse. He could forgive himself fucking Remy, like he forgave himself every one night stand he had. Unfortunately that was Remy Hadley, the fragile yet steel – looking Remy.

They made love. They made love when all he had in mind was pure bliss that was clearly caused by naked female body, not the soul trapped in it. Remy squealed, wriggled, hugged him and bruised his neck, she said his goddamn name. You don't do that when you fuck. When people fuck they take God's name in vain, they yell, they scream. He liked her very much; she was clearly held dear by him. But, as she professed – there were some differences in her point of view of their relationship.

She said she will have feelings for him. He had none.

And now she was here, sleeping peacefully next to him, an image of a happy bride. She was going to find out; she was going to get hurt. And there was nothing he could do now to comfort her or change something. No when he had his name, moaned by her, ringing in his ears.

Jackson climbed out of a mess made of comforters, pillows and blankets they've slept on and headed towards the kitchen. He needed a coffee, a strong one. And so did Remy, if she was to gather herself up after what he did to her. A loud sigh escaped his mouth when he closed the bedroom door. 'You little shit.'

* * *

He managed to boil enough water for two mugs of instant coffee and put some tuna spread on two rolls when Thirteen emerged from his room. She was stark naked, apart from a pair or black boxer she sported yesterday,, and these hung so low on her hips that he managed to see where soft curls began. She beamed at him, biting on her lower lip. Her hair was a mess and she had little bruises under her eyes, but apart from that she looked stunning.

Jackson yelled internally. How was he supposed to do anything?

'Morning.' That was all he could force out of his mouth.

'Good morning, yeah.' Remy grinned and sashayed towards the kitchen peninsula. Her moves were somewhat sloppy as she spent the majority of the night on exhausting lovemaking, but nevertheless she was full of feline grace. Avery smiled at her and she returned the smile with much enthusiasm.

'I have to tell you something.' Thirteen announced happily, sipping on the lava – hot coffee and furrowing her brow as she burned her tongue with it.

'Yeah?' Jackson curled into a ball internally. He felt his stomach making cartwheels all over his insides.

'Yes. I am happy. And I intend to stay that way. Even if I sound like a lunatic right now, I am completely sane. I want to do happy stuff. What do happy people do with each other?'

Avery's mind went completely fogged.

'Dunno. Eat? Watch movies? Grow bonsai trees?'

'These ain't called bonsai bushes?' Remy asked with sincere interest, scanning his somewhat confused face. Jackson gave up on doing anything about his intended confession and The Big Talk. She was way too enthusiastic about the whole situation to rip the candy out of her hand.

'To be honest, I have no idea.' He managed to take a bite of his roll and gulp it down. 'Just said it that way. You look… overjoyed.'

'And I feel that way. I'm happy, Jackson. It is a very weird feeling for me.' Remy gestured a tad too animatedly, spilling some coffee over her lap. 'Oops.'

Avery handed her a paper towel and she mopped the brown liquid off her thigh. She suddenly stopped her ministrations and looked him straight in the eye. 'I don't sound like a deranged, maniac girlfriendzilla, do I?'

'You don't.' What Jackson wanted to do was offer her a thermometer or a sleeping pill, but he resisted the urge to say so. What happened with the calm, mysterious femme fatale? 'What are we exactly, as in right this moment?'

Thirteen shook her head and shrugged. 'Well, um, I have no idea. I guess we will figure that out on our way there.' She scratched the bright red marks the coffee left on her leg.

There was going to be a 'way there'. 'Lord, take care of me.' Avery prayed quietly.

'I just… I want to enjoy the state of things. To see what it exactly is and where will it take us, okay?' Remy shot him a pleading look, something very unusual for her. He nodded, grinning at her. She smiled even wider, flashing her white teeth.

'I will not call you my boyfriend or anything. I just...' Thirteen started her monologue again, making Avery a bit unsteady.

'Okay, I got it.' He barked at her, making her look at him with a bit of fright in her wide, cat eyes. He backed off immediately. 'Sorry. It's just… I'm not used to you talking so much. It throws me off the hook.'

Remy nodded a bit less joyfully and made a face. 'Yeah, um… I guess that is a new thing for me.'

Jackson turned on his heel and looked up to find a sugar bowl on the cupboard shelf. He just realized he had been sipping a bitter coffee for the past five minutes, because Remy's metamorphose captured his entire attention. He fished out two sugar cubes and threw it into his cup. He offered the sugar to Thirteen, who shook her head with rejection. She liked her coffee with milk, but bitter – Jackson hated milk but liked his beverages sweet. Remembering that made him smile. They would be perfect friends.


	9. Chinese Takeout

And so it went.

Next few weeks were a constant vacation for Jackson and Remy. They went to work, heard various remarks from their charming boss (' - ayooootiful will get her pap smear'), managed to stay undercover with their relationship since they weren't kissy-huggy people and avoid being mocked, came back from work, watched movies, ate takeaway Chinese food and had lots of sex. Remy discovered how much she liked to laugh and how easy it was for her now. They laughed even during sex, and they would burst into fits of laughter so often that it resembled a comedy show, not lovemaking. They would kiss, embrace, walk around naked – and they were completely okay with that. She couldn't care less about how she looked or behaved, she was pure bliss and pure bliss was what she gave Avery.

Jackson felt relieved when she did not pursue on changing the state of things. They became friends, almost best friends; it was fun to have her around. Every now and then she would do or say something that made him question her sanity, but it was the new her. They visited Taub and his baby daughters, and Thirteen was a vision when she toyed with their little tufts of hair and teeny-tiny fingers. He and Taub used to grab a beer and watch her play tigers in the jungle or peek-a-boon with Sophie and Sophia until they started giggling and getting so excited that neither Jackson nor Taub could prevent themselves from joining the fun. Avery never thought he could enjoy playing with foreign kids so much. Neither did Remy. They would crawl on the blanket Thirteen and girls were laid on and pretend to be giraffes or lions or whatever came to their mind. Once or twice Avery pushed Remy on her back and leaned over her with glinting eyes. 'Gotcha!' he would exclaim to Sophie and Sophia's great joy. They exchanged looks and smiled, and Taub made a face, though he was genuinely happy for what he thought he was seeing.

Time passed and they kept discovering things they had in common or which differed. Still, it worked for them. They were happy. They watched crappy TV shows and sneered on the lousy plots, they went hiking and skinny dipping, and it was as natural as breathing for them. Even the stay-at-work-till-early-morning days were bearable if they spent majority of them together, chasing lunatics down the hallways, doing tests, breaking law under Houses careful instructions and working their firm asses off.

* * *

'Okay, no more takeouts.' Remy was trying to put on one of her favourite Donna Karan tank tops, which was way too tight on her now. 'I'm starting to get fat.' The blue-grey fabric hugged her shapes a tad too intimately.

'You are not fat.' Avery wouldn't even look at her, too busy with basketball league match. NBA was all he could discuss right now. Thirteen scolded but smiled at her buddy, whose brain was apparently erased for the next thirty minutes of the game.

She bit her lip as she tried to put on something different. Lack of physical activity, apart from friendly fucks they shared took best of her, making her a tiniest bit more curvy than she was usually. Even her bosom was delicately heavier than before. She was still far more slender than Cuddy with her buxom chest, but despite her external anxiety she welcomed her new shapes with quite appreciation. She felt slightly less fragile after gaining a few pounds.

Remy jumped as she heard a loud bang. Apparently Jackson managed to knock over a bottle of pale ale and now cursed like a seaman. She smiled to her thoughts. There were things Jackson could do like a seaman, and cursing was not the only one of them.

* * *

'Twenty four year old female, excessive weight gain, lack of self-preservation instinct, hypherfagia. Go.'

'She has very bad food habits, her slight obesity might be caused by that.' Foreman went through the chart with astounding speed. He furrowed his brow as he read the patients statement. 'Looks like she ate only cheese quarter-pounders and pixie sticks for the past 4 weeks.'

'I think it's Klüver-Bucy syndrome.' Jackson said with his usual swag. 'She was caught having sex with the custodian.' He flashed a goofy smile and Taub snorted.

'Anyone having sex has Klüver-Bucy's? Damn, you must be very sick.' House started his usual pissing routine with a wild smile. He pointed at Avery with his can and waited for his move. Jackson learned that the only way to tame the monster was to play his game. Everyone in the hospital knew he made the nurses swoon and the only gay in the whole hospital cried over his margaritas every weekend because of Jackson's to-the-bone straightness.

'If someday I will be hospitalized, do not treat it. It's quite enjoyable.' He made that remark ogling Foreman who now looked like an angry turkey, all puffy and ready to be snarky. 'Patient works at the motorcycle venue, enough inhalation of carbon monoxide could set off Klüver-Bucy's. She has excessive amount of intercourses, she is very tame, she eats a lot and she tends to chew on things.' After a few seconds of silence he looked up, surprised by no retort by House. His boss was staring at Thirteen's cleavage, obviously very amused with something.

'Klüver-Bucy it is. House, why are you eyefucking my mammary glands?' Remy asked her boss with slight interest. She cocked her head and took a sip of her decaf. Avery's eyes darted to her décolleté; her beautiful breasts were spilling out of her bra. 'Chinese takeouts, new breast enhancing medicine' he said to himself.

'Ooooh, you don't want to call them that.' House was clearly overjoyed with something. His blue eyes glinted with pure ecstasy.

Remy's eyes turned to tiny slits. Jackson could swear her hair sparkled with electricity.

'Oh, I will call them whatever I want!' She barked with so much anger and irritation that everybody looked up from their charts. She panted, furious.

For a few seconds the diagnostics department was a very calm and silent place. Everyone stared at Thirteen, whose red face glowed like a sea buoy. House pulled his face and looked her in the eye with clear surprise. Nobody ever was so bold with him, not even Chase at his better times. Not even Foreman.

'Dr. Hadley. Would you mind getting a better medical history form our patient?'

Remy stood up, her face blotchy. She nodded, shot her boss a look that said 'Sorry' and headed out of the room. Cameron, who was silent from the beginning of the differential diagnosis, gave Avery a look that said clearly how much she despises him. He raised his eyebrows. She was usually a cute, calm doll who never said anything particularly interesting, but then again – nobody expected that from her, as much as nobody expected her to show off pure hostility.

He shrugged and went back to flipping the pages of his copy of the patient's medical history. In the very moment when he started to get somewhere with it, a kiss-ass voice asked 'Is this the diagnostics department?'

Derek Shepherd was standing in the door, obviously nonplussed and trying to get Avery's attention. 'This day is just getting better and better' he thought with tired yawn.

'Nope, this is Sundae World sir, how can I help you today?' House looked at McDreamy with much amusement on his face. Derek sighed. He was wearing a black coat and an ugly blue tie that made him look like an accountant.

'Hi Gregory. Can I borrow Avery for a sec?' Shepherds eyes turned to Avery. Jackson looked at his boss with a vivid plea in his eyes. 'No, he can't.' Avery said to himself and tried to telepathically tell House not to let him out, and his boss grinned like the Grinch in the eve of Christmas holiday.

'Sure you do. By the way, how is our Aussie doing back in your mossy land of rain?' Shepherd look as if he wanted to bury his face in his hands and his cheek twitched.

'Um… fine.' It was clear now that House and Derek knew each other and despised each other. Jackson regretted for a second that Sloan was not here. He and House would've put on a show and made the pissing contest much more fun than his present boss and Shepherd, who was trying to be the epitome of politeness in front of a definitely most polite-hating person in the western hemisphere.

Avery walked up to Derek and shook his hand. 'What is up?' His voice was tired and bored.

'Can we talk privately?' Shepherd looked him in the eye and Jackson felt that there was no point in trying to get out of his slick web of politeness. He liked his wife, Meredith, but the Derek himself made him sick to his stomach with his overbearing correctness. 'Sure.'

'And this is herpes simplex encephalitis.' Derek flashed a toothy smile at scornful Taub, pleasantly smiling Cameron and indifferent Foreman. 'I dared to eyeball the symptoms over Gregory's shoulder.'

'No, it's not.' House said after a second of silence. 'Now go and talk to Avery, I need him back a.s.a.p.'

Derek looked painfully insulted. He made a face of beaten up puppy and left the room with grinning Jackson. Taub walked him to the elevator with eyes.

'That little Mr. Perfect took my parking place at the Johns Hopkins oncology conference.' He exclaimed with much scorn.

* * *

'So.' Jackson sat at the canteen table with a tall latte. 'What is it? Be quick, please, I've got so much work on my head-'

'Kepner's pregnant.'

Avery raised his eyebrows. Derek studied his face with much concern. They sat in front of each other, so that there was no way to escape McDreamys vigilant gaze.

'Okay.' Jackson sipped his coffee and looked Shepherd in the eye. 'What does that have to do with me?

McDreamy looked definitely surprised. 'Well, everybody thinks that you… well, you knocked up April.'

Jackson shook his head. A tall, blonde nurse walked by them, eyefucking Avery as she watched them sip on their beverages. He sighed. 'Nope. Though if the baby comes very blonde, I won't be surprised.'

Derek seemed disgusted with that remark. Jackson sighed internally. 'There we go' he thought.

'Well, um… I thought I'd come and tell you. I was nearby for a follow-up.' That was a lie and they both knew it. 'She seems very depressed. You were friends, maybe you should do something. Call her maybe.'

'Call her. Why would I call her? Hey April, it's me, Jackson, Derek told me you were-'Avery suddenly looked very unfocused and distant.

'Jackson?' Derek grabbed his arm. 'Jackson, are you okay buddy?'

Avery looked like he was about to faint. Shepherd could swear he saw cogs in his head working until something clicked in his brain and she blinked. 'Sorry, what?' Jackson looked genuinely willing to focus on what McDreamy was saying, but it was pointless.

Derek sighed. 'Nothing. Go back to work.'

Jackson stood up and shook Shepherds hand. Both men said their goodbyes and parted; McDreamy went straight to the parking lot where his brand new Saab was waiting for him. Avery ran for his dear life through the corridors, heading towards the room in which Remy Hadley collected the medical history of their patient.


	10. Ch-ch-changes

'Thirteen.'

Remy Hadley sat on a plastic chair in the corridor. Her eyes were puffy and face red and blotchy. Jackson waved a print towards her and she raised her head. His face was full of relief but somehow still anxious.

'There is no-'He stopped, not sure whether he should say the word 'baby'. 'You are not pregnant. It's just… you gained weight because of the takeouts.' He gestured towards her belly and she clamped it protectively. 'The blood test is negative. I checked hCG as an early marker of pregnancy, and there is none in your blood.' He rambled on as if he was teaching at med school, trying to break the silence. 'So yeah… you are good.'

Thirteen looked at him with indifferent distantness in her sight. He whimpered with discomfort. She knew she were good. She knew perfectly well how the pregnancy test worked. She refused to get an ultrasound, even tough according to her it would already show the fetus, was she pregnant. She did not want to see the baby. He tried again.

'Hey. We are fine, you are fine.' Remy shot him an unhappy look and sobbed. His face fell.

'I… for a second I hoped we were not.' Jackson felt confused and studied her tear-streamed face. 'I mean… that I am pregnant.' All of a sudden Avery saw his friend in a completely new perspective. The sturdy, confident woman he knew disappeared. He suddenly realized how lonely Remy was. Lonely enough to crave child she would bear out of wedlock. Lonely enough to hope for pregnancy that would scare the shit out of her. She didn't want to see the fetus because she was scared of being pregnant and of not being pregnant. She had no idea what she was frightened by more. For a few seconds he saw a vision of Thirteen, hugging a tawny baby with curly brown hair, laughing and playing with the little fingers of the child. He shook his head to erase the image. It awoke unwanted thoughts.

He hugged her and stroked her back, letting her cry her fear and relief out of her system. 'I know we are not steady or anything and I am not the type who gets knocked up on purpose' Thirteen started blabbering away. 'I just… for a second… I hoped that there was thing inside of me… I don't know…'

Jackson had no idea what to do. Feelings that bloomed in him when he realized he could possibly father Remy's child were rather scary. Anger, because he had not planned that. Fear, because he was not sure whether he would be a good enough father. Questioning his own value, because he repeatedly had sex with his friend who had feelings for him. Should she be really pregnant, his view of himself would be somewhere between a child molester and a shoplifter. He rocked a bit, trying to soothe her sobbing. She snorted and laughed a bit, so he let go of her and looked on her face. She had a little smile of her feline features.

'Sorry. I'm fine, I'm fine.' She wiped her cheeks with her sleeve and tugged on her ponytail, checking if it was still on its right place. 'When you went to the room where this woman was talking about her job at the motorcycle venue… I mean, things I had on my mind scared me. And you looked so frightened and distant. I… wished for you to say something comforting and I know we couldn't discuss anything in front of the patient.' She frowned.

Jackson smiled understandingly. She followed his gaze.

'I guess we just have to move on now.' Her voice sounded tired. Avery watched her biting her cheek from the inside.

'We are fine. I don't want to move on anywhere.' He knew that if he would let go of her and terminate what they had going on he would lose something important and comforting. He was not ready to give up that. Remy raised her head and studied his face. A smile came back on her face.

It didn't feel like a lie. Jackson knew himself well enough to tell when he was lying to himself. He sighed and came to terms with the simple fact of life; however did he feel about Remy Hadley in the past, things have changed. He just was not sure in which direction. She smiled and batted her eyelashes, unconsciously imitating the many women Jackson had hit on time after time. He grinned and cupped her face with both his hands. Thirteen's eyes glinted.

'Don't go anywhere.' He stood up and offered his hand for her. Remy looked sideways and shot him a surprised look.

'Where would I go?' She took his hand and lifted herself from the chair. Avery laughed goofily.

'I mean not going anywhere far from me. Stay there. Somewhere around.' Thirteen nodded and buried her face in his scrub top. In that very moment they both understood that they needed to express their feelings yet another notch better.

* * *

Two doctors burst frantically into Wilson's office, closing the door with impact of their heated bodies. Remy tugged on Jackson's collar, nearly ripping it off the rest of the garment. Avery growled hungrily and kissed her neck, making her moan impatiently. She darted to the windows and closed the blinds and Jackson watched her with starved look. She tore off her lab coat and moved the coffee table with her knees and shins, bruising herself in the process. Avery dashed towards her, knocking her over onto the little couch Wilson had in his working office. She let out a small yelp as her back hit the sofa.

They started undressing each other like it was the end of the world. Remy ripped the shirt open, sending the buttons flying across the room. Jackson cursed and removed the piece of clothing completely, exposing a mocha colored chest. She dug her nails into his clavicles, sliding slightly downwards. Avery sighed as they rubbed against each other and began unzipping her navy denims. She helped a bit, lifting her hips so that he could take the pants off her, and her welcomed that help with a series of butterfly kisses down her belly. She threw her head backwards and moaned. Jackson cupped her through the lime green thong she wore with one hand and looked for her swollen breasts with the other. Thirteen grasped the short locks he sported and tugged on them, making him let out a little hiss of pain. Their eyes met and something in a shape of understanding formed between them.

Jackson tore the panties off using his teeth and licked her tentatively. She gasped and muffled the gasp with a pillow she threw off the couch previously. Her frame formed an arch as Avery worked his way up and down her neither regions. After a while her head was stuffy like she was jogging outside on a sunny day.

'Stop' she moaned quietly, 'stop, Jackson, stop.'

He looked up from between her legs with concern on his handsome face. She lifted herself on her right arm, using the left one to embrace his neck.

'Come to me.' She pressed his head against her chest and slid down to find herself under his toned body. He kissed her breasts and she hugged him tightly, feeling the length of his erection pressing hard against her stomach. She bent her legs in knees and crossed her shins on his butt. Jackson growled and put his hand in her hair, pulling on it delicately. He moved back a bit and entered her with much tenderness. They both stayed still for a few seconds, looking each other in the eye before Avery started moving against her. Remy embraced him so tightly he had a problem to position himself correctly, but he continued nevertheless. Thirteen squealed as he hit a sensitive spot and released him from her hugging arms, resting them on his waist instead of his neck. He welcomed that change and moved a bit more aggressive, watching her bounce against the couches armrest. She let out a small laughy yelp and gritted her teeth.

Suddenly she closed her legs around his waist once again and sat up, making him fall on his back using her strong, muscled legs. She managed to sit completely straight, impaled on her lover. Jackson watched her in awe, waiting for her move. She rode him, lurching forward to place small kisses on his bare chest. They both panted with pleasure, letting out small laughs in the process. Avery placed his hands on Thirteen's waist, helping her to catch her rhythm. She found her stride and bounced up and down with cat-like grace, making Jackson grit his teeth to muffle his moans of pleasure. All of a sudden he sat up with Remy still on his lap and embraced her, her legs now on both his sides and her hands on his bent knees.

'Remy.' This was the first time she addressed her that way and in this manner. She reprocipated the embrace, scratching the back of his head with her free hand. They rocked for a few more seconds, until Thirteen yelped and dug her nails into Jacksons back. He pushed his hips further and felt himself sliding off the edge of the couch. They fell off the sofa, and as Remy's back hit the floor the friction between them reached its peak; they both came, riding the waves of their orgasms until neither could breathe comfortably.

Jackson looked Remy in the eye, smiling. She returned the smile, just to become stern and sad. She caressed Avery's cheek for a few seconds and hugged him. As he tried to release the grip, she embraced him harder, and said, looking at Wilsons 'Vertigo' poster:

'I have Huntington's. Be there for me. Be there for me, because I don't have even myself to be there for me.'


	11. April, May, June

April Kepner sat at a white work desk. Her eyes were sad and the commotion that blonde Australian caused behind her wouldn't help. Robert Chase walked around the room, throwing things across it. Two sets of underwear, a dress, a pair of flared jeans and a single slipper flew into a suitcase. April followed the garments with her sight, stroking her pregnant belly. Chase made her anxious.

When Jackson left Seattle she was overjoyed that she could get rid of him for a few months, for a few sacred months during which she would be free of her tormenting crush. The feelings she had for Avery were breaking her, piece by piece tearing her apart to the point at which she felt useless and empty. Her heart and body ached for him constantly. She felt as if she was falling down from a great height without a parachute or a paraglide. Time flew by, she was 3 months pregnant by now, her abdomen was swollen and her body changed in Olympic pace.

Robert looked at her with impatience. April reprocipated the look with scorn. She was about to run into her bedroom and slam the door shut on him, when he grabbed hold of her, and slammed her against the wall and proceeded shake her.

'April, April' he whimpered looking at her blotchy face and cupped it with his both hands, shaking. Huge tears started running down her face, leaving glittery traces on her cheeks. He slid his arms about her waist and somewhat clumsily touched his lips to hers – and then he kissed her with a passion she couldn't imagine. April closed her eyes and let the sensations take over. She wore no bra, so it was pure heaven to see her breasts in all their glory. Chase gently kissed the tops of her breasts. She bent into a bow when he circled both her nipples, now perky and alert. The hand moved down her, cupping her mound through her white silk pajama pants. She crushed her mouth against his, in an urgent kiss that promised of more to come later. Robert welcomed it with a groan, still feeling a very mixed and undefined mélange of emotions. The confident womanizer that April knew had vanished, and instead remained an insecure man who was afraid to be hurt and now threw her on an unmade bed. The Aussie every female and a few males in the hospital adored back when they weren't lovers was now hers and hers alone. She blushed knowing it was her that did this to him. She felt herself tremble and anticipated the slender fingers that tugged on the hem of her shorts to violate her, instead he tore off is boxers and leaned forward, positioning himself in front of her entrance. He then plunged in with one swift thrust upward. April cried out at this, and started to set a slow, torturous rhythm. He grabbed her cute arse to lift her, so that he would reach further, deeper. She heard him murmur against her neck and the heat of his breath made her moan softly.

Suddenly she tore him off her and sat up straight.

'No.'

Robert sighed. He rubbed his leg against hers to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. Since news about Kepner's pregnancy flooded the hospital she communicated with him using single words instead of her usual awkward jabbering. She walked around like a zombie, puking every thirty minutes and looking like a Bastille prisoner. Herkindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything, as always. But nevertheless, she was isolated. Her swelling stomach made other wonder. Everyone assumed that she had Avery's baby. Everyone waited for a swarthy, strong baby with curly hair that would be followed by a quick wedding and unhappy marriage. Everyone wondered why she kept Chase around her. Why, when she was clearly pregnant with the man everybody deemed right for her, and who left Seattle for Chase's original workplace.

It was only April who knew that the kid she was expecting would be possibly blonde, have light, powdery complexion. She even did the math and it turned out that the kid would have her eyes, not Chase's. Genetics was a wonderful thing.

She made a list of baby names. May, June, Berry for a girl. Joshua, Levi and John for a boy. She waited for her offspring with much awe and fright. She was not ready to be a mother. She went through baby shopping catalogues, squealed over buggies and onesies and cute little pacifiers. She was everything a happy mother-to-be should be, but it felt as if she was trying to lie to herself, to the world. The globes center was now the tiny creature in her abdomen that she was supposed to nurture and care for. It was impossible. Impossible to think about, impossible to get over. It was not supposed to be like that, not with Chase, not when she was still not married.

Robert, on the other hand, digested the situation exceptionally well. When they found out that April is pregnant he had a small breakdown, but quickly pulled himself together. For his child. For the woman her impregnated.

After Rowan, his father, had immigrated to Australia from Czechoslovakia a few years before Robert was born his mother became infatuated with him and conceived Robert. After that, the family spiraled down with Mrs. Chase being constantly drunk. He saw enough to know that if he would choose to leave April and his kid behind he would never forgive himself. He would imagine how his life would be with a smaller version of April Kepner being driven to ballet class or smaller version of himself, kicking a soccer ball across the backyard. His little sister ended up drinking half her life away and hating him for not being there, but he couldn't bear taking care of her. Not after what he saw happened to their mother. He blamed himself for letting Mrs. Chase destroy herself with booze, and seeing his sister follow that path would make him do the same.

He was Robert Chase, the elder son of Rowan, his progeny and his heir. His name overshadowed his actions and it broke him. It was clear that his father was financing his lifestyle as Robert, unlike the other fellows, never lacked for or cared about money. He had wild amounts of sex, he wore his Dolce & Gabbana and Gucci like other wore their American Apparel and H&M and he traveled to remote place to surf or bang the local hotties. It was his passive – aggressive way of making it even with his father, spending his money on things he did not need. When he saw Jackson Avery, whose mother and grandfather were the aristocracy of the medical world, he felt like he found someone who would understand him. He was wrong.

He felt antagonized and disliked by him, and ever since he asked April Kepner for dinner and she accepted the staff of the hospital treated him the very same way. The whole Grey Sloan Memorial acted like he stole her for the praised Prince of Plastics, who thought about redhead as if she was his buddy, not his future fiancée. Meredith, her husband Derek, Calioppe and her wife Arizona, everybody shunned him for a crime he did not commit, April was charmed by him and they had a good thing going on. He knew about the San Francisco events, as she felt it was important for him to know why everybody treated him like scum; it was weird falling from grace to the deepest trenches of the social hierarchy. He changed his pristine blond hair he constantly peroxided to his natural dishwater blond, and carried a constant five o'clock shadow. Robert Chase felt tired.

Since the onset of their relationship he felt like something was wrong. April clinged to him, making him feel trapped. She was self-conscious, unconfident, repeatedely had crying fits. He knew there was something more than an attraction she had for this competitive asshole of a plastics surgeon. There were too many 'Jackson said's and 'Jackson told me's in their conversations, too many pictures of him in her cell phone. She was not over. He decided to let this one slide, to give her a chance for moving on.

Instead he heard Avery's name at least once a month during their hopeless, angst filled sex they had in cars, closets or custodian cupboards. She never showed a sign of realization of what she yelped and he never uttered a word of protest. She was the only person who gave him any attention, and he was a male attention whore. He lacked praising, he missed being the celebrity. April made him feel both miserable and needed; he did not feel like that since his mother asked him to get groceries when he was in 8th grade. He brought them, sweaty, tired, and angry that his only present parent collapsed on the kitchen floor on a puddle of her own vomit. He cleaned up, changed his mother into clean clothes and lied her down in bed. She looked at him with her warm, hazel eyes and said 'Thank you, Robbie. Thanks.'

That phrase ringed in his ears. He felt like this pathetic creature that bore him was grateful, and it made him both sick and happy that he could have been of use. The same way April made him think that he was a way to get out of her pit of misery. Sometimes he really hated his shrewd capability of deducing people's motives. She used him to get on the Move On road. Except it didn't work and she kept punishing him for that. She isolated him, refused to talk with him, and made him know that she wanted to get to Princeton by leaving a postcard from Avery on his working desk.

Jackson sent her a congratulations card with a few kisses down the page, and her heart felt like a jab of steel. She managed to fold it nicely in half and pressed her lips to it, smelling him on the stationary paper. Smelling, or imagining the smell? She was not sure. She hugged the card and rocked like a baby with a bad case of hospitalism. She wanted him, she needed him. She wanted him to be the daddy of that little sea monkey that floated inside of her protruding belly.

She had to do something, and that scared the crap out of her. 'He goes out of his way to put young patients at ease and to talk to them at their level', she said to herself, 'Chase is going to be a good father. But he ain't going to be a good hubby for me. Not like Jackson will.'

April reached the perils of paranoia. She was determined to get Avery into her life, even if she was going to use blackmail, force or illegal ways. Being away from Jackson and pregnancy changed her tremendously. Her previous immaturity and overtly insecure behavior transformed into full-blown depression and it made her look like she finally found her peace; she was quiet, focused. Actually she was a tangled mess of problems and contradictions.

'I will be fine.' April looked at herself in the mirror, sighed and placed the card on Robert's desk. She knew he would find it and get the right conclusion. Her determination scared her, she felt how tremendous might the consequence be. For her, for her child. But she was not going to stop.

She fished out a big, fuchsia pink suitcase out of her closet and started packing. When the last of her ballerina flats flew into it, Robert entered the room. His eyes darted to the pile of wrinkled clothes spilling out of the suitcase and to the card which was calling his name across the room, set up against a jar of anti-acid medication. He picked it up, furrowed his brow and looked at her with a tired expression. She nodded and sat on a little stool placed next to the desk. He sighed and started packing her.


	12. Coup d'état

'Hello?' A hoarse voice asked. 'Hello, Jackman, you in there?'

'April?' Jackson Avery sat up, wide awake. Right beside him, on a messy bed, slept Thirteen, drooling a bit on a blue pillowcase. It was 6:30 in the morning and he was supposed to be at work in one and a half hour. Her chest was moving and she cuddled a big, thick comforter, throwing her leg over it. Delicate, golden hairs on her shin glinted in the sunlight, making him want to stroke her leg. 'Why are you calling, it must be like 3 AM in Seattle now?' A soft sigh was the answer.

'Well?' Jackson urged her, sensing some kind of trouble on the other side of the line. He felt his stomach do cartwheels inside of him.

'It's… it's actually 6:30 at my place. I figure you'll be up by now… getting ready for work.' April's voice was steady but definitely sad. 'I'm at my family house. In Ohio.' There was a small cough on her end of the line.

'Oh.' Avery couldn't find a better thing to say for a few seconds. 'Yeah.' April retorted with a fake, chirpy attitude. A few more moments of silence passed and all he could hear was her unsteady breathing and a feeble whimper.

'So.' Jackson decided to get straight to the point of why he thought she called him. 'Shepherd stopped by. He said that you were, um…'

'Yes.' April blurted that single word out without much ado. There were a few moment of silence. Jackson felt already tired of her. 'I figured it would be better for the baby. You know, fresh air, countryside… I know there is bovine viral diarrhea but recent studies show that humans don't pick it up from cows, so…'

'April, why does everybody think that this is my baby?'

Kepner was quiet. Seconds passed by and they both waited for the other one to say something. He could hear April's soft footsteps as she walked around. Finally Jackson sighed and scratched his head with his free hand.

'Listen, April. We are not having this conversation. Not like that, not over the phone. I'll visit you during the weekend, okay?' He tried to make his voice firm and unyielding. He couldn't afford another fifteen minutes on wondering what April's agenda was.

'Actually…' April sounded pretty determined this time. 'Actually I'm going to visit you. Or at least the Princeton Plainsboro hospital. Rob decided to go back to New Jersey, and I am at my parents place, so… I'll just go with him.' She stopped abruptly.

Jackson felt cold sweat dripping down his face. Something bad was coming. Rob. She called McRoo 'Rob'.

'Um, okay.' He couldn't really prohibit her from doing that. 'See you around then. '

He hung up, not really waiting for an answer to that. He dropped the phone on the mattress and buried his face in his hands. He felt a movement behind him; Remy woke up and nuzzled her chin against his back. Her long hair tickled his bare skin and normally that would relax him and relieve stress, but now it only woke some funny, stomach scorching feelings.

'Hey.' He reached out to her and stroked her cheek. She purred like a cat and crawled beside him to his left side, and then climbed onto his lap. Her eyes were full of joy. She grinned and kissed his nose.

'You up already? We have like… half an hour more for sleep.' He gave her a half-smile and rested his forehead against hers. She sensed his distress and frowned. Her nose nuzzled his nose.

'Jackson, what's wrong?' She jumped up and down a bit, trying to cheer him up. He shook his head. Her feline eyes squinted. She hugged him tightly, knowing that it would be stupid to interrogate him. 'Whatever is it, you'll figure it out. Or we will. Or something.'

Jackson smiled and she felt his eyelashes brushing against her neck. She batted them as she realised they tickled him. He let out a small laugh. She reprocipated it and kissed him on the forehead. 'We are, J.'

That was her way of saying many things. 'I am happy', 'I love you', ' I am there for you'. He knew, she knew, but they never discussed that. He realized how scary it was for her to describe her feelings, and assuring him that they actually were here, that they both existed, was the least troublesome way of expressing how she felt. It was sometimes hard to decipher what this time was she trying to convey, but it always was something good. He accepted that and enjoyed the fact that she felt comfortable enough to address that issue with him.

'We are.' He assured her. She grinned and climbed off him. 'Come on, let's get ready. I'll prepare something to eat while you're at it.' He nodded and she flew out of the room. When the door slammed shut behind her his smile slid off his face like caked makeup. He was dead worried, though he did not even exactly knew why. Why would April's pregnancy affect him like that? What kept him thinking about that? His conscience was dirty. He did something, what was that?

He realized that having sex with a virgin had to have some consequences. Thanks to God, it was not the reason why she was expecting a child. Why would he feel so bad? He did not force himself on her, he did not dump her, since there was no relationship in the first place. There was no reason to feel guilty.

He kept sitting on his bed, prodding the mattress with his index finger. He suddenly felt too tired to do anything constructive. World resolved now around what he expected to be McRoo's child and a future victim of a horrendous divorce. That was a pity, that was something he would never expect to happen.

'Jackson?' Remy peeked through the door. 'You are running a bit late. I'm gonna shower now, okay?'

'Sure.' Avery nodded and stood up, smelling fried eggs. Thirteen had a thing for them, frying, boiling or baking with them. He ate sunny-side-up's, omelettes, pickled eggs, tea eggs, even a century egg which he loathed. She preserved a duck egg in a mixture of clay, ash, salt, quicklime, and rice hulls for three weeks and served it with slices of pickled ginger root. It was smelly, horrible, and she gulped it down like it was Rice Krispies. He fought with nausea, but ate it. Seeing her happy was worth the effort.

Hot shower made Remy drowsy but at the same time she enjoyed it. She wrapped a big, navy towel around her and tucked the end underneath one of the layers to secure it. Her hair was tangles so she used Jackson's comb to tame it. It came natural to them; sharing some stuff, wearing each other's clothing and eating together. When he first noticed her long, chocolate hairs on his comb he frowned and she drew her breath, waiting for objections. Instead he just smiled and picked one of the hairs, asking her to do it herself when she uses the comb. She felt as if a tiniest grenade of joy exploded in her chest.

She was at home.

She grabbed an eye shadow palette and chose a peachy gold. She always looked good in that color and she knew it. Remy applied it on her eyelids, carefully removing the excess from underneath her eye sockets. Smeared cosmetic left gold shimmer on her skin, enhancing feline features. Deep black liner made her slightly squareish face look longer and she grinned to her reflection. She liked being beautiful and show off in front of Jackson. She enjoyed the feeling of being looked at with appreciation, especially from him.

Her hair dried up a bit, curling on the ends. It bounced as she reached for a silver necklace Avery hung on the pelmet of the bathroom window. It glinted in the daylight as she put it on, smiling to her reflection; her skin glowed with happiness. She swirled around and opened the bathroom door to let some steam out.

She almost banged into Jackson, who barged into the bathroom with a frantic speed.

'Sorry' he managed to say through half eaten roll and scrambled eggs, 'Shaken baby syndrome patient, kid is nearly dead. I got paged.' Remy made space for him and squished against the shower curtain. He gulped down the mouthful he was fighting with and grabbed a toothbrush. Thirteen left the bathroom and walked straight to Jackson's closet to get him something to wear. As she went through different button downs she helped him buy over the last few weeks her fingers touched something fuzzy. She frowned. What she fished out was a powder pink cardigan, small enough to be very snug even for her. Why would Jackson have a ladies' cardi in his closet?

Lost in thoughts, Remy chose a pinstripe black shirt and a pair of prefaded navy denims which made his ass look very fit. Blue boxers and black socks completed the outfit. She folded everything nicely and went back to the bathroom.

'I brought you some clothes!' she yelled, fighting with the noise made by the shower being on full blast. Behind the cloud of fog the caramel body of Jacksons was performing almost acrobatical figures to simultaneously brush his teeth, scrub himself and wash his hair. Normally that would make her laugh. Today, she was too concerned to have fun. She heard him murmuring '…often fatal and can cause severe brain damage, resulting in lifelong disability… retinal hemorrhages, multiple fractures of the long bones, and subdural hematomas…'

Jackson always felt extra responsible when he had a child patient. He rewent through the books, repeated his mnemonics and revised whatever he deemed important when it came to treating children. Usually she felt proud of the extra effort he took to do his best around the kids, but today it made her heart froze. Ever since they found out she was not pregnant she missed some unnamed part of her life.

Avery hopped out of the shower, saying talking to himself about draining of the hematoma. She shrugged and left the room, heading towards the fridge. She had a craving for crab sticks, and she recently restocked the kitchen. Avery had no idea about cooking, given he ate whatever some unknown Meredith Grey or her sister Lexi would put together, and from what he said it looked like what they managed to serve was healthy and nutritious but really horrible tasting. For someone who fed on macaroni with tuna and chopped peppers washed down with ale or isotonic for almost a year he felt rather pampered when she made fishcakes with vinegar fries or ragout with embrionalli eggs. She enjoyed cooking for him, and he had lots of fun munching on whatever she served, even though sometime it was uneatable. It felt almost like he had a caring girlfriend.

She grabbed a packet of surimi fish sticks and absentmindedly chewed on one. It had the taste of plastic. She was anxious.


	13. To The End

Robert Chase woke up with a feverish jolt. His forehead was sweaty and palms wet. He reached over to the left side of the bed, where he anticipated finding April's back. Instead, his fingers found empty space and grasped some air instead of Kepner's red locks. He sighed.

Loneliness that overcame him with every moment which he spent on trying to figure out what was going on in April's head. He felt tired and devastated. He just everything he wanted to get – but the way it all appeared made him sick to his stomach. A kid he wanted was deemed to be offspring of a guy he hated, his baby's mother hated him, and he felt like a bloody criminal.

Tears rolled down his cheek. For a split second he knew what he wanted to do deep down inside. Remy's number was still in his mobile phone, saved and ready to be dialled. He knew her good enough to know that she would have picked up. She always did, even if it meant she would moan and complain about waking her up or interrupting something, though he usually called about some new symptom or to tell her that he switched their shifts in the E.R. He needed a friend and she always seemed to be the person closest to being a friend of his than anybody else. A flashing display of a bedside alarm clock told him it was 3:20 AM. The night sky started turning navy from totally opaque black.

An owl hooted outside of a square window, making him jump. He was not used to wild animals, and even less so to the farm stock. April moved around confidently, talking to cows, horses and pigs, and he just stood there, watching her be all Mary Poppins-like. He loathed the countryside, but stayed anyway. It made her content to have him near, even though she treated him like a poor companion. He couldn't help thinking about being free again. He used to have lots of sex, with many women. He never allowed anyone to know, doing it in closets, each other's apartments, cafes and cars. It was emotionless and mechanical, but none of the women really complained. It was easy, simple and trouble less.

* * *

Thirteen rolled on the diagnostics team room carpeted floor. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were teary from the exhaustion. She did not leave the hospital since Wednesday and it was 3:20 AM on Friday. Their tiny patient, 3 months old Ollie, was in critical state, fighting for his every breath. They suspected household abuse, but what the E.R. staff considered to be bruises coming from physical collisions were actually signs of meningococcal infection. The baby was treated with wide spectrum antibiotics, but it was the matter of time until his liver will start failing. It was a race with time, and the team was losing. The bruises kept appearing. Ollie kept crying from pain and they couldn't give him any painkillers to soothe the pain, as it would fry his liver.

Remy was curled on her side, hair spread on the floor and her right hand fidgeting with it. She reread the kid's file a thousand times but had no clue what could be wrong with the kid. She let a tear flow down her cheek. She was emotional about this case; ever since she suspected a pregnancy her feelings were slightly troubled when she met a tiny human on her way. A slight buzz of her cell phone made her sit. She fished it out of her lab coat pocket and checked the caller ID. Remy's brow furrowed.

'Hello?'

'Hi Thirteen.' Calm voice murmured into her ear, making her smile cockily even though she was in worst of moods. 'So… how are you?'

'Good. Good. Just… fine.' Remy assured Chase quickly. Suddenly she felt like there was a thousand things she wanted to tell him. She wanted to share the happiness of hers and Avery's love story, the doubts and the questions. It felt like talking to friend she never had. 'Are you okay? You never call this late. In fact, you never call me, unless something is wrong with the patient… is this a consult?'

'I am not in Seattle.' Chase's voice suddenly grew tired. 'I'm in Ohio.'

'Ohio.' Chase was definitely not the type of hillbilly fan. What would he do in Ohio, bang busty farmeresses? Why would he leave his new hospital in the first place? She bit on her fingernail. 'Like, um… why?'

'Long story.' Remy bit her lip. He was defensive, trying to cover up some dirty deeds of his.

'Tell me then, I have a long night ahead. Or a long morning depends on how you look at it.' She stood up, wiggled a bit on her heels trying to return to balance, and walked toward the coffee machine, clutching the phone between her arm and her cheek. 'Was is it?'

Chase sighed deeply.

'My bride to be wants to go to Princeton. Her family home is near Columbus. We are staying overnight before the ride to New Jersey.' This communicate was weirdly frank and laconic for such a matter. Bride to be? Ride to New Jersey? Thirteen almost dropped the phone. A dark veil of doubt fell over her, making her vision go blurry. She was not exactly worried about Chase; something told her that she was in danger. She got to trust her instincts. Her hand was shaking as she poured boiling water to a navy mug.

'Um… you are getting married?' Chase didn't say anything. 'Chase, did you fell in love or something? When you left you were single…' She interrogated him, impatient.

'She is pregnant.'

Okay, that was a reason. Bad, but a reason anyway.

'Uh-huh. And you never considered just paying child support? I mean, you don't have to marry every woman you have children with, it's not 1950's.' She tried to be cheery, but another long pause made her feel that this was not a best idea right now. 'Okay, so… who is it?'

'Name's Kepner. April. I mean, April Kepner. She is a resident in Seattle Grace Mercy West. Red hair, very chirpy. Mostly… mostly a nicey-nicey girl. Your American Amy or Popular Patsy.'

'And you fell for that?' Thirteen went back to her usual sarcastic sense of humor. Chase laughed.

'Well, I guess I did. I want to marry her and I don't at the same time. It's my kid, my blood; I want to see him or her grow up.'

You can do that from a distance, Remy thought, suddenly scornful. 'You are not telling me everything.'

'How do you know?' Chase sounded truly surprised. Thirteen sipped a bit of her coffee and smiled, still having an unpleasant twist in her gut.

'You are a bad liar, even on the phone. You are talking like a poster WASP, not like you.' She heard him breathing deeply on the other side of the phone.

'Everybody thinks the kid is not mine.' He blurted that finally out, sounding defeated. Remy shrugged.

'Why so? Is she a fun girl?'

'Nope.' His voice started to be full of anger. 'She is in love.'

'Okay, and that is relevant how?' She raised her eyebrows and examined the glass wall of the rooms. It needed to be cleaned, right now. Fingerprints made her want to grab a dust rag and clean them off.

'In a way that she got knocked up at the very beginning of my employment at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Right before that Avery guy left.'

Remy's heart froze for a split second and then started beating very hard and very fast. She clutched the phone harder. Fingerprint on the glass wall suddenly became blurry.

'Um… so… they were together?'

Robert Chase coughed impatiently, obviously trying to speak faster and convey more into his slurred speech. He sounded more and more tired every second of their conversation. Remy was sure that the phone was making her cheek red and sweaty, but she didn't care. She tried to grasp on what Chase was saying like it was a rope ladder to safety.

'She always speaks about him, Jackson this, Jackson that. I'm sick of it. Sometimes I even wonder whether she doesn't lie about who is the father. She could.'

Thirteen dropped her coffee on the floor, her hands shaking rapidly. Hot liquid stained the dusty gray carpet, and she didn't care. She stood right in the middle of the puddle, fighting back tears. In mere seconds she felt her forehead cover in sweat. Chase kept speaking, though she barely got anything of out his rambling.

'…and form the looks of it, I'm a making an idiot of myself, I could drive a scalpel through my head and she wouldn't care. She is carrying that bastard's child and I'm trying to talk myself into believing that it's mine.'

'Chase.' Remy's voice was hoarse, full of emotions. She was now openly crying, her mascara running down her face, making her look like a drunk teen. 'I have to go, I'm sorry, I have to.'

'Thirtee-'

She ended the call and fell to her knees. Her whole body was trembling, as she raised her hands and run fingers through her hair. She lunged to the side, resting her elbows on the floor. Shaking, she rocked back on forth, trying to calm herself, but it only made her dizzy. She curled, putting her knees under her chin. She had tears on her cheeks, on her forehead, in her ears, she was wet. Her heart felt like it was about to burst, to catch on fire or explode. Insides twisted and knotted, making her sick.

She knew the story will end. She knew that from the very beginning. She suspected that, yet she let herself believe that there is a 'happily ever after' for everybody. Her body shook violently as she choked on her own breath. She should've know, she have had known. Time passed, first minutes then quarters, and she still rocked, half curled, pale and covered in drying tears.

'Remy?' Somebody called her name. She didn't care.

'Remy, for God's sake, are you okay?' A pair of muscular hands rolled her on her back. She was not there. She was somewhere else, flying over the Earth, she was a ghost. She was blind.

'Remy, answer me!'

Go away, Thirteen thought drowsily. Go away. Leave me alone. Her world was now black and white, shadowy and warm. She was falling into some wet darkness, not even trying to fight.

If this is what dying feels like, it is not that bad. It is like falling asleep on a rainy day.

When that thought passed through her mind, she felt being picked up. She moaned, but didn't fight. She wanted to let go, so desperately wanted to let go. The unknown wrapped her in a warm blanket of helplessness, making her sensory deprived. It is good, she thought. Is does not hurt anymore.

I am free.


	14. Back And Forth

Christopher Taub was standing against a wall, leaning towards the white hospital bed. His tie was wrinkled, face stubbly and expression tired. Foreman, who sat right aside him, scratched his goatee and sighed. His eyes were darting to the wall clock every 6 seconds, counting time. Cameron fixed her eyes on the matted tips of her shoes, refusing to make eye contact with anybody in the room. Her left foot was tapping on the floor. Jackson shot a silencing look, which she must have sensed – she looked up and sneered at him quietly, which he welcomed with obvious disgust. She turned on her heel and left the room, moving her hips vividly and waving her hands in angry gesticulation. Avery gulped, trying to get rid of an awful feeling of insecurity. His face turned back to the bed, on which Remy Hadley was laid, white, peaceful, and staring at the ceiling. Her hospital gown was slightly open, revealing deep scratch marks and burns, where the paddles hurt her.

_… 'Remy, answer me!'_

_Thirteen was laying on the floor, rocking slightly from side to side like a hospitalism case. Her eyes were fixed on some distant point, motionless. She scratched her bosom with long, sharp fingernails, drawing blood. Her face was pale, almost morbidly white._

_Jackson put two fingers against her neck to check for pulse. It was barely there. She was having a heart failure. She had bradycardia. She needed to be shocked back into rhythm._

_'I need a crash cart in here!' He yelled desperately, lifting her from the floor and dashing through the door of the diagnostics department. Alarmed nurses were already feet away, so he laid her down on the corridor bench. One of them tore off Remy's shirt, revealing even more of her scratched body. She pasted on three electrodes connected to a monitor, while another one squirted some gel in two paddles and yelled 'Charging one hundred!' …_

'Leave us.'

All three doctors turned their heads, confused. House was standing in the door of the patient's room, toying with his cane. His eyes were cold and his blue, wrinkled shirt's collar was up. 'I said, leave us.'

Avery stood where was. Taub and Foreman exchanged looks. House banged his cane on the glass wall. 'Yes, I mean you, morons!' A muscle on his cheek twitched and they greyish hair seemed to crack with electricity.

Foreman gave House a loathing look and walked out. Taub followed him, patting Jackson on the back, which he acknowledged with a grunt. Theirs eyes interlocked for a split second and quiet understanding flashed in them. Taub sighed and left the room, peeking over his shoulder as he disappeared behind a corner of the corridor.

_…'Clear!' Avery roared as all three nurses backed off. Remy shuddered as the electric shock brought her back into the world of living. From what the monitor showed her rhythm came back to discussingly normal, but she looked like a corpse. _

_'Need a gurney!' One of the scrubbed nurses run for her dear life to find a transport for Thirteen. Avery checked her reactions, flashing a light in her eyes. Pupils were reactive, round and even. Medically speaking, Remy just had a heart failure and she was coming back to normal. What would make her so limp, so unresponsive?_

_He lifted her again and put on a provided gurney, trying to unclench his jaw in the process. All his muscles were alert and his veins pumped adrenaline. …_

'What happened.' That sentence sounded more like a statement than a question, but Avery sighed and described briefly what he saw and did. House studied Thirteen's empty face for a few minutes then turned around and sat on a chair previously occupied by Foreman. He rested his chin on the cane's handle and furrowed his brow.

'You found a phone around her somewhere?'

Avery nodded. 'It was on the floor. She must've dropped it.' House nodded to that answer and tapped his cane on the floor.

'She must've heard something challenging. She became bradycardiac, eventually asystolic. She nearly died from fear-'

'I know.' Avery interrupted rudely, snapping impatiently at him. House looked at him, making him feel extremely uncomfortable. Jackson raised his head and looked the older doctor in the eye. The blue orbs stared into green ones for a few seconds and House broke the eye contact. He went back to watching Remy stare at the ceiling.

_…'Jesus Christ, Remy, talk to me!'_

_Thirteen was still laying flaccid on the bed, except that now her eyes were closed and the eyelashes' shadows made her face eerily corpse-like. The monitor connected to the electrodes above her heart started flashing, O2 sats were in the toilet and her heart was now beating abnormally slow once again._

_'Remy, Remy, please, come back to me, come back!'_

_Jackson tried to manually push her chest, trying to get her back into normal rhythm. Her little, white breasts jumped with every push. He didn't care if he was going to break her sternum. She couldn't die. Not now, not when everything was beginning to work…_

'Is she pregnant?'

Avery shook his head. 'We thought she was. She gained weight, barked at you for boob jokes, missed her period…she was a textbook pregnancy. Apart from the fact she wasn't.' He moved closer to the bed and brushed his hand over Remy's. She didn't move.

'I thought she was.' Jackson looked at House. Gregory House admitting to a mistake? That was new. 'Something must have caused it. Healthy 30 – year olds don't die from fear,so-.'

'She isn't healthy, she has Huntington's.'

House shot Avery a puzzled look. 'You know?' Jackson returned the look, even more confused. 'And you do?'

'I was the one to talk her into taking the test.' He rose from the chair and moved closer to Avery. 'You are no good for the next few days.'

Jackson smiled. From all he could imagine, House would mock him for his involvement in Thirteen's life. And here it was – the best form of compassion he could get. House was basically giving him time off to stay by his girlfriend's side.

'Cameron is angry. She wanted you for herself; you might want to watch out for the Lady Bitch in the next few weeks.' Older doctor shot both his employees, one pale and indifferent and one dark-skinned and worried, yet another scornful look and left, waddling from side to side. On his way to the office he bumped into a biscotti-Labrador looking like psych ward resident. He grunted something in apology and went on, while the intern moved quickly on, dashing towards Remy's patient room, his white lab coat fluttering behind him.

'Um, ?'

_…'Dr. Avery, what do we do?'_

_The nurses turned to Jackson with much despair; Thirteen was asystolic. The flat line on the screen and a loud beep made everybody quiet for a split second. Jackson stared on the monitor for a mere moment, feeling his own heart being cut open with that piercing sound. Then he grasped a needle with ten of adrenaline from nurses hand and without much consciousness stabbed Remy right in the heart, pushing the medicine into her cardiac muscle. Flat line turned into a chaotic scribble and then went flat again. Avery heard his pulse beating in his ears. _

_'I lost you.'_

_He was not even sure whether he said that out loud. He stared into the monitor with a silent prayer on his lips when the flat line disappeared, making place for a normal rhythm. He exhaled, clutching the syringe in his bare hands and piercing the skin. He started bleeding, but he didn't care, he didn't even notice. Remy was back…_

'Yeah. It's me, and you are…?' Jackson woke up from his short stupor and blinked, trying to get a polite expression on his tired face.

'Dr. Levi Menace, nice to meet you. I'm the hospital counselor and … well, um, I'm here to talk to you about .'

Jackson glanced at Remy. She didn't flex a single muscle.

'She put your name in all 'emergency contact' boxes, so…'

He clearly waited for a reaction so Jackson nodded, a bit taken aback with such amount of information. Human Labrador smiled encouragingly. His plaid red shirt was ironed neatly, and rimmed glasses were slightly fingerprinted. Red stubble covered his cheeks unevenly, and his strawberry blonde hair was slightly tousled.

'So, from the looks of it, is fully aware of what is happening. She is kind of locked-in; silent, quiet, but fully aware. No physical factor contributes to that, it is all in her head. She went mute from acute stress and is currently my patient. She hears you, she knows you are present. For some reason she remains completely isolated from the environment she is in, but it will pass with time. You have to give it to her.'

Avery turned around to face the bed. Remy blinked, but her sight stayed fixed on the ceiling.

'How do I give her time?' He asked, feeling his voice getting full of tears. He swallowed as the wet droplets fell from his lashes on the freckled cheeks.

'Be there. Talk to her, be around, and tell her stories. She will come back.'


End file.
